Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

Heavy rains last night, expect the creek to be swift in the morning

 

[i7win7]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Lil Foot]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[RCW]

 

[Magicman]

A woman told her husband "Go to the store and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six."

When he got home she asked "why in the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"

He said "They had eggs.

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Daren Todd]

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got 'visibly excited' every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get excited again. So I got some duct tape and taped "it" to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible" says Jeff.
"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?"
"I kicked her in the face."

 

[Magicman]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

The offshore racing league looks pretty exciting

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

Ironic, fell like dominos