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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively...

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He...

oldie but goodie Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six...

A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, and then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. The next day...

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

We grow sprouts all year for salad greens. Cabbage, radish, pea sprouts This week I started roto-tilling our garden plots. one plot for pumpkins+ sweet corn + beans and and one each for peas, zucchini and carrots.

I was wondering what you folks use for a camera. I used a Canon G1X for the last few 20 years before that I shot with Nikon F cameras. The job I had required me to have a Digital camera and the Canon felt better than than the Nikon of the time. Last week I bought a new Nikon Zf so I could use...

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem. If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die Jesus loves you...

lead or steel shot?

I did not add any words to the above shot before sending it so Drone shot near Kamloops BC a spliced photo made up from 2 shots cheers Hank

A duck hunter was out on the marsh when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, he woke up on a hospital bed. His doctor said,"Well sir, I have some good...

oldie but goodie An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total...

I was in the bar with a friend, and we had had a few. A couple of old drunks across the bar caught my attention, so I turned to my friend, and with a nod in the drunks' direction, told him "That's us in another 10 years." He said "That's a mirror, idiot."

This guy is driving down the highway in his corvette and sees a hitchhiker with a big dog. So he stops and tells the guy he would give him a ride, but there's not room for the dog. The hitchhiker says "I can tie his leash on the back bumper." The corvette driver says "that dog can't keep up."...

Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Bubba and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bubba says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." Donnie says, "OK, I'm...

A man starts a new job and his wife welcomes him home that evening: "Hello darling - how did it go?" "Oh so so," the man replied, "they're a bit of a funny bunch..." "How do you mean?" asked his puzzled wife "Oh well" the man began, "the managing director has a sign behind his desk saying...

I have a 5hp 220vac 2 cylinder compressor with a 60 gallon tank for air tools but hardly ever use due to a mess of Milwaukee electric tools. Now it is just used to pump up tires and shut it off before the tank gets full. For serious air we have a diesel powered jack hammer wheeled compressor. I...

2010 we had a big flood in September . We do a lot of apple pressing and have 4 freezers with many gallons of frozen juice in them. Apple juice is a good trading commodity. I built our house with the first floor 10 feet off the ground level because we are close to the Bella Coola River . The...