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Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven. There, they are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, " I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and...

It has been above freezing for the last few weeks and lots of rain up here in the mid coast of British Columbia, The snow we had in the beginning of December has been washed away. The mountains still have snow on them.

My printer conked out after only 6 years of hard service So I got another Canon all in one with the Mega tanks hope this one can take the load.

I've done my share of VW engine swaps and 14 minutes was my best time with no blood lost. My hat is off to somebody that can do it in 5. Hank

We made 380 gallons of Apple Cider this year and made some hard cider and it has a punch

I think the electrical receptable a bit close may be or not a GFI

We have a Husky z246 . It makes cutting our 4 acres a piece of cake. I bought a Bagger attachment but not too pleased with it. we had some electrical problem that I could not solve so I added a push button switch. Now it starts fast

In the greatest days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said "You must meet...

After being married for many many years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said: "You're an alphabet wife... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks: "What the hell does that mean?" He said: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant...

change the fuel filter

Three Bears Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair... He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been...

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about Sex at that age." "Curious about Sex?" replies...

A Muslim couple, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counselling. He asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your...

SNUFF! Do you remember what Snuff is? Powdered tobacco, it's taken by putting two small pinches on the back of your hand and inhaling it up nostril, yes, like cocaine! Well this old guy would always leave his small tin of snuff in the pub, never used it anywhere else. Well, these two village...

All of the ten senior members of the Board of Directors of the company were called into the chairman's office one at a time until only Bob, the most junior member was left sitting outside. Finally it was Bob's turn to be summoned. He entered the office to find the chairman and the ten other...

A man is at his local supermarket. He says to the lady behind the register, "I'd like to buy some dog food." The lady asks, "Do you have a dog?" "Yes", the man replies. "Where is it?" "He's at home" "Sorry, store policy means I have to see the dog" The next day, the man returns. "I'd like to...

So in his small community Ralph was the great fisherman. Every time he went out on the bay he came back with a boatload even when others came back with none. This didn't go unnoticed. One day his friend the game warden asked if he could go out fishing with Ralph. "No problem was the answer. How...

not as bad as some of the other posts My coworker friend Frank was a smoker and always had a butt hanging out of his mouth. I looked over at him one day while he was grinding some steel, he had a flip down clear plastic face shield on and still had a cigarette dangling. The cigarette had burnt...

I smoked my far share but Ringo said it best for me now

I'm glad you are leading the parade, I'm following close behind best wishes Hank