Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
Lil Foot
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
Post #43
2.5 gal YELLOW fuel can? (maybe Orange?)
Since someone stole two of my jerrycans awhile ago, I like to mix them up a little, with diesel in the gas cans, gas in the diesel cans, etc. That way, if it happens again, the joke is on them...
www.orangetractortalks.com
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A drunk staggers into a catholic church and goes into the confessional. After a couple minutes of silence the priest clears his throat to get his visitors attention, Still silence. The priest knocks on the wall a couple of times and the drunk says there's no use knocking there's no paper in this stall either.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Harley Davidson is Closing many of its Plants Due to Declining Sales. Apparently, the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles, and Generation X is only buying a very few, and the next generation, the Millennials, aren’t buying any at all. A recent study was conducted to find out why Here are the reasons why Millennials don't ride motorcycles, and why sales are down:
1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.
1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
PHPaul
Well-known member
Equipment
B2650, Pronovost snow blower, Landpride rotary mower, Howard tiller, box blade
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Islands in the Stream comes to my mind. I would love to see some pictures of the rest of that home.
I see that the picture's identity is; "bachalor pad" (sic). I know a couple of people who would be fully capable of doing that work.
I see that the picture's identity is; "bachalor pad" (sic). I know a couple of people who would be fully capable of doing that work.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Wisdom of An Older Man
An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'
The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'
'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, she appears out of nowhere….'
An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'
The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'
'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, she appears out of nowhere….'
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
My grandpa used to tell me this all the time about the wisdom of an old man. This is the G rated version:
A young bull says to an old bull "let's run down there and breed one of those heifers" and the old bull replies "no let's walk down there and breed all of them".
A young bull says to an old bull "let's run down there and breed one of those heifers" and the old bull replies "no let's walk down there and breed all of them".
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller