Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags rips, and every once in awhile a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills
falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see
if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? You
didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to
the Football Field parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee
through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with
my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes.' "

"Well, that seems only fair," laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the
way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know, not everybody pays."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffer ring?

My Services will be Friday and she even let me pick out my own casket flowers.

 

[Magicman]

After years of living in the city, Bob and his wife Marie and their kids bought a ranch. A friend came out to visit, and noticed the sign over the cattle guard was a series of odd symbols. He asked Bob what it meant.
"It's the name of the ranch!", Bob said. I wanted to call it the "Rockin' B", Marie wanted to call it the "Swinging M". My son Timmy liked the "Leanin' T", and the twin girls Susie and Sally wanted to call it the "Double S". We couldn't decide so we named the ranch the "Rockin' B / Swinging M / Leanin' T / Double S Ranch.
"WOW, that's quite a story!" His friend said. "How many head of cattle do you have?"
Bob looked sadly and said, "None. We didn't have any that survived the branding."

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[ACDII]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[lynnmor]

View attachment 74350

There was a bread truck where the driver handed out what he could to help, cake would have been great. snow jam

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

A traveling Laundry Detergent Salesman knocked on the door and the lady answered.
After explaining what he was selling he asked for a piece of dirty laundry and he would demonstrate.
She produced her husband's dirty shirt.

Washie, washie, washie...rinsie, rinsie, rinsie....squeesie, squeesie, squeesie. Smells so sweet.
He asks for another piece of dirty laundry and she produces he husband's socks.

Washie, washie, washie...rinsie, rinsie, rinsie...squeesie, squeesie, squeesie. Smells so sweet.
He asks for another piece of dirty laundry and she hands him her panties.

Washie, washie, washie...rinsie, rinsie, rinsie...squeesie, squeeesie, squeesie.
Washie, washie, washie..............

 

[ACDII]

Oh man, I cannot stop laughing at this one.

I want a bumper sticker now that say's I'm a real man, I drive a Kuboter!