Daily Chuckle

[sheepfarmer]

 

[sheepfarmer]

 

[Magicman]

To Build a Fire:

1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
2. Bandage left thumb.
3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
4. Bandage left foot.
5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand.)
6. Light Match
7. Light Match
8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.
9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.
10. Apply burn ointment to nose.
11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for
more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."
13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
14. Re-label can to read "gasoline."
15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

 

[NCL4701]

To Build a Fire:

1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
2. Bandage left thumb.
3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments.
4. Bandage left foot.
5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand.)
6. Light Match
7. Light Match
8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.
9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.
10. Apply burn ointment to nose.
11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.
12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for
more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."
13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
14. Re-label can to read "gasoline."
15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.

Reminds me my wife and I were watching Survivor while the contestants were struggling to start a fire with a flint and coconut husk shavings. Wife said she bet I could do a lot better than them as many fires as we use for heat, etc. Told her yeah, via my normal method with a bath sheet size towel soaked in a half gallon of diesel and a long nose lighter I could kick their butts without breaking a sweat.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Magicman]

Two hunters from Koochiching County got a pilot to fly them into the far north for caribou hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged four big caribou. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the four caribou, but the pilot objected. He said, "The plane can only take the weight of you, your gear, and three caribou.You will have to leave one behind."

They argued with him; the year before they had shot four caribou and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all four aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we crashed last year!"

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

We may have our deficiencies and shortcomings in this modern world but it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

 

[Bmyers]

 

[orange crusher]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[sheepfarmer]

What happens if you don’t pay the exorcist?



You get repossessed.