Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

The weather forecast was for partly cloudy

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[DustyRusty]

Beer bottle; "you break me and you get a year of bad luck!"


Mirror; "Hah... you break ME and you get 7 years of bad luck!!"


Condom; "You, hey.... seriously??" (shakes head and walks off laughing)

 

[DustyRusty]

A gas station in Kentucky was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, "Free Sex with Fill-Up".

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in
for a fill-up. Again, he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess
the correct number.

The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again, the proprietor said, "Sorry,
it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think
that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged ----- my wife won twice last week."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

I think my owner voted for Biden

 

[802Driver]

 

[Magicman]

 

[i7win7]

Girlfriend helped me sight in a new rifle -- she might be a keeper

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

To all my friends using Viagra

I knew it. . . I knew it......
I knew they would finally release the ingredients in Viagra:

3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat

 

[D2Cat]

They have a name for when they remove their masks after getting out doors. They call it an "AIRgasm". That first breath of fresh air after wearing the mask for however long.
I'd say it's perfect !

 

[i7win7]

You see some interesting things in the bigger cities

 

[i7win7]

Could be worse, could be cleaning out a wood chipper

 

[Fordtech86]

Two guys on their first building project nailing down plywood on a roof. Every so often Earl takes a nail out of his apron and throws it over the edge. After a while Jim Bob asks him what he’s doing. “Them nails have the point on the wrong end.” “You dumb axe Earl responds Jim Bob, them are for the other side of the roof.”

 

[bmblank]

Two guys on their first building project nailing down plywood on a roof. Every so often Earl takes a nail out of his apron and throws it over the edge. After a while Jim Bob asks him what he’s doing. “Them nails have the point on the wrong end.” “You dumb axe Earl responds Jim Bob, them are for the other side of the roof.”

Ha. I've always made the joke about my spoon being inside out, but I've never heard that one before.

 

[Magicman]

Little Johnny is at it again-


The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well,
That was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried.

 

[i7win7]

What would a city slicker need a wheelbarrow for?
Us country boys don't need no cart

 

[i7win7]

Guess he should have taken the "back" roads