i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
xrocketengineer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
Marcu5 you need to bring skeets up to speed on some of the other inside jokes like the "Lucas, the Lord of Darkness" and "if the blue smoke leaks out, your electricals will not work anymore".
I get plenty of exposure to that being a member the theminiforum.co.uk.
It is also great when a newer US member gets all flustered when something gets lost in the translation like "inspect the fuel tank with a torch".
xrocketengineer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
Lucas used to make a vacuum cleaner. It was their only product that did not suck!
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
and break the glass if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, "Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,
"Has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it briefly and
then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I'm not hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk Among Us!
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
and break the glass if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, "Ouch! The chain must rip
out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear
remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and.
went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me,
"Has your plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it briefly and
then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I'm not hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk Among Us!
Lil Foot
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
This exact same thing happened to me.
Wife bought a new microwave to replace an older but clean, perfect condition larger one.
I put it on the box from the new one at the edge of the street with a sign saying "Free, works perfect!".
It sat for 9 days. Changed the sign to "Works perfect, $40" and it was stolen in less than an hour.
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
xrocketengineer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was
having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, 'Harry,
what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm
too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd
grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should
be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry
to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.
The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give
the boy a test.
If he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the 1st grade and
behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were
explained to him and he agreed to take the
test.
Principal:
'What Is 3 x 3?'
Harry:
'9.'
Principal:
'What is6 x 6?'
Harry:
'36.'
And so it went with every question the
principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells
her,
'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'
Ms. Brooks says to the
principal,
'Let me ask him some questions.'
The principal and Harry both
agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What
does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms Brooks: 'What
is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask
such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What
does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
Ms. Brooks: What
starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry:'Coconut.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth
hanging open.
Ms. Brooks:'What
goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and
before he could stop the answer, Harry
replied, 'Bubble
gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What
does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake
hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What
word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and
told the
Teacher,'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I
got the last seven questions
wrong.....'
having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, 'Harry,
what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm
too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd
grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should
be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry
to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the
teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.
The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give
the boy a test.
If he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the 1st grade and
behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were
explained to him and he agreed to take the
test.
Principal:
'What Is 3 x 3?'
Harry:
'9.'
Principal:
'What is6 x 6?'
Harry:
'36.'
And so it went with every question the
principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells
her,
'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'
Ms. Brooks says to the
principal,
'Let me ask him some questions.'
The principal and Harry both
agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What
does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms Brooks: 'What
is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask
such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What
does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
Ms. Brooks: What
starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry:'Coconut.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth
hanging open.
Ms. Brooks:'What
goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and
before he could stop the answer, Harry
replied, 'Bubble
gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What
does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake
hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What
word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and
told the
Teacher,'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I
got the last seven questions
wrong.....'
xrocketengineer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
Who said men were unromantic.....
My friend's wife being the romantic sort, just sent him a text.
It read:-
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send
me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
Love you x.
He replied........Am having a crap. What should I do ?
My friend's wife being the romantic sort, just sent him a text.
It read:-
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send
me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
Love you x.
He replied........Am having a crap. What should I do ?