i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Proof that Men Have Better Friends...
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A healthy 80-year old Mississippi Redneck
An 80-year-old Mississippi Redneck goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,’ how do you stay in such great physical condition?’
I'm from Mississippi and I am a hunter,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape.. I’m up well before daylight and out hunting all day .. I have a beer, and all is well.’
‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?’
‘Who said my Father’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Father’s still alive. How old is he?’
‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the old Redneck ‘In fact he hunted with me this morning, and then we went to the topless bar for a while and had a little beer and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s A Mississippi man and he’s a hunter, too.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Father’s Father? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my Papa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the old Redneck.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?’
‘No, Papa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
An 80-year-old Mississippi Redneck goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,’ how do you stay in such great physical condition?’
I'm from Mississippi and I am a hunter,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape.. I’m up well before daylight and out hunting all day .. I have a beer, and all is well.’
‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?’
‘Who said my Father’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your Father’s still alive. How old is he?’
‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the old Redneck ‘In fact he hunted with me this morning, and then we went to the topless bar for a while and had a little beer and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s A Mississippi man and he’s a hunter, too.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Father’s Father? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my Papa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the old Redneck.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, ‘So, I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?’
‘No, Papa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.’
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
Lil Foot
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Now when I see that Opie looking teen in the jacked up white truck in town with the tail end dragging and the 24" goofy rims and paper thin tires, leaning forward so he can see over the hood ......
Well you know what I'll be thinking
Some things you just can’t unsee.Now when I see that Opie looking teen in the jacked up white truck in town with the tail end dragging and the 24" goofy rims and paper thin tires, leaning forward so he can see over the hood ......
Well you know what I'll be thinking
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is
perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.. I've changed my will three times!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is
perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.. I've changed my will three times!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller