Daily Chuckle
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xrocketengineer
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
I had a GSD years ago that would hunt and kill anything that would get into our yard. One night we came home and we saw the dog had "hunted" a possum and had it in front of him. So I told my wife and kids to get inside the house and watch through a window. After a few minutes, the possum started waking up and struggling to move his head and saw the dog staring at him and the possum fainted immediately. This went on and on for probably about an hour, the possum would wake up, see the dog, faint again. Finally I had to get the dog and put him inside. The possum then disappeared.
Sorry about that... I had a Golden Retriever that retrieved 2 different Possums that he dropped at my wife's feet.... She wasn't impressed but I thought it was funny...
Again, sorry...
Daren Todd
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Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Our late weiney dog knocked on the back door to come inside. Back door is solid glass in a wood frame. He had his toy in his mouth (long stuffed animal that sagged).
So.... I open the door and let him in. He runs over to my wifes chair, jumps into her lap, and deposits a live squirrel in her lap.
Squirrel took off up my wifes arm, across her shoulder, bails off the back of the chair. Runs behind my chair.
I'm still at the door dumb struck, wifes screaming, and the dogs are going ape sh*t.
I have enough sense to keep the door open, and between me and the two dogs, we herd the squirrel back out onto the sun porch.
total time squirrel was in the house was 10 to 15 seconds But there was quite a bit of chaos in that time. I verified whether or not it was a toy in the dogs mouth before opening the door after that.
That was the second time I've had a live squirrel in the house.
The first time was at a house I was living in with some friends. Roommates cat came in with a live squirrel in it's mouth. Jumped up on the ottoman, and then proceeded to drop said squirrel on the floor between my roommates two dogs.
Squirrel took off further into the house with the pit bull and weiney dog on it's heals. They cleaned out two book cases, and it resembled a bomb going off in the house before we were able to catch the squirrel and release it in the back yard.
Almost like the Mississippi squirrel revivalOur late weiney dog knocked on the back door to come inside. Back door is solid glass in a wood frame. He had his toy in his mouth (long stuffed animal that sagged).
So.... I open the door and let him in. He runs over to my wifes chair, jumps into her lap, and deposits a live squirrel in her lap.
Squirrel took off up my wifes arm, across her shoulder, bails off the back of the chair. Runs behind my chair.
I'm still at the door dumb struck, wifes screaming, and the dogs are going ape sh*t.
I have enough sense to keep the door open, and between me and the two dogs, we herd the squirrel back out onto the sun porch.
I verified whether or not it was a toy in the dogs mouth before opening the door after that.
That was the second time I've had a live squirrel in the house.
The first time was at a house I was living in with some friends. Roommates cat came in with a live squirrel in it's mouth. Jumped up on the ottoman, and then proceeded to drop said squirrel on the floor between my roommates two dogs.
Squirrel took off further into the house with the pit bull and weiney dog on it's heals. They cleaned out two book cases, and it resembled a bomb going off in the house before we were able to catch the squirrel and release it in the back yard.
Lil Foot
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Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
Years ago I had a Shepherd/Husky mix who loved being at our place in the high country. He was out exploring, and when we called him back, he trotted up quite proud of the flat, road kill squirrel he had in his mouth. We took it away from him & buried it, while chewing him out for bring home a dead squirrel.
I told him not to bring home dead squirrels.
About 30 mins later he trotted up proudly carrying a live squirrel, which he dropped just inside the cabin.
Thankfully, it made one high speed lap around the great room and bailed out the front door, with the dog in hot pursuit.
Took a while to break him of the habit of bringing home all the wildlife he encountered, (rabbits, snakes, chipmunks, birds,) but eventually he learned to just have fun watching.
(and maybe a little chasing when I wasn't looking)
I told him not to bring home dead squirrels.
About 30 mins later he trotted up proudly carrying a live squirrel, which he dropped just inside the cabin.
Thankfully, it made one high speed lap around the great room and bailed out the front door, with the dog in hot pursuit.
Took a while to break him of the habit of bringing home all the wildlife he encountered, (rabbits, snakes, chipmunks, birds,) but eventually he learned to just have fun watching.
(and maybe a little chasing when I wasn't looking)
Daren Todd
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
So I was at the store earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about $200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping cart. With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was a BLD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a BLD? I told her it stood for Butt Licking Dog. She said Butt Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my butt clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it.
I know it's not really funny but this one made me laugh out loud. Nothing like a virus to make the crazies come out of the woodwork but I didn't realize how many walk amount us.
I disagree, It's completely funny and made me LOL, too. The virus has given a lot of people too much time to be funny, and some are REALLY funny. We all need to be able to laugh about our plight, and figure out a way to endure the coming events, and hopefully ride them out without bloodshed. But I fear we're headed for events that will make the "insurrection" look like a fraternity kegger.I know it's not really funny but this one made me laugh out loud. Nothing like a virus to make the crazies come out of the woodwork but I didn't realize how many walk amount us.
Magicman
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Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his "private part" hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mom!" she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school
Country Preacher's Teenage Son
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. Bible
2. Silver Dollar
3. Bottle of Whisky
4. Playboy magazine
“I'll just hide behind the door”, the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be !”
"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.”
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.”
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy”, the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "He's going into politics!!"
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
1. Bible
2. Silver Dollar
3. Bottle of Whisky
4. Playboy magazine
“I'll just hide behind the door”, the old preacher said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be !”
"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.”
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.”
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.
"Lord have mercy”, the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "He's going into politics!!"