One liners that we still use today.......

[Daren Todd]

Just for s@@t's and giggles.

Dumber then a box of rocks.

Fell out of the idiot tree, hit every branch on the way down, then drowned in the idiot pond

 

[Bulldog777]

A few fries short of a happy meal.
You'll never learn any younger - my pawpaw said this to me a lot.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
That's like the pot calling the kettle black
I didn't just fall off the turnip truck

 

[Pitbull]

Nuttier than a squirrel turd

 

[tlefire]

Tighter than Dick's hatband

Poor as Job's turkey

If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about

I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it

 

[DocHolladay]

Sweatin' like a wh*re in church.

He/she can worry the socks off a rooster.

Got more problems than Carter's got liver pills.

Snug as a bug in a rug.

Tighter than ticks on a dog's a**.

He's so tight he squeaks when he walks.

He's got the whole 6 pack, he just doesn't have the rings that hold them together.

 

[RCW]

Couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel....

Heard my father say it 1,000 times.

982 were at my bother and me......

The other 18 REALLY pissed him off!! The other one-liner he used with those guys shouldn't be posted......

 

[skeets]

And if your from Da Burgh,,, you know the one word one liner that says it all

JAGOFF

 

[PHPaul]

"He's got his head so far up his butt, he has to Windex his bellybutton to see where he's going."

Variant: "I tried to see things your way, but I couldn't get my head that far up my butt."

 

[DocHolladay]

When talking about the price of something: Those "insert product here" are higher than a bird's a$$.

He's happier than Richard Simmons with a wheel barrel full of dildos.

 

[Yooper]

If you move any slower you would have to speed up to stop.

 

[bxray]

A couple cards shy of a deck.

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

Not the sharpest crayon in the box.

What does that have to do with the price of rice in China.

Lower than a snakes belly.

Running on fumes.

 

[BAP]

Colder than a Witch’s T*t

 

[bxray]

220, 221 whatever it takes.

 

[bearbait]

$hit happens

 

[Bulldog777]

While your resting, you can help ........

 

[DocHolladay]

It's so hot outside, I saw a dog chasing a rabbit and they were both walking.

It's so hot outside, I saw a dog chasing a rabbit and they were both laying in the shade.

 

[Kurtee]

It was so cold here this morning I saw two cottontails push starting a jackrabbit

15 below in am in southcentral MN today, high of 4 below

 

[sheepfarmer]

Kurtee that made me laugh out loud!

 

[workhorse]

Smells so bad he could knock the buzzards of a $hit wagon

Horny as a 2 peckered Billy goat

Like white on rice

Hotter than a snakes ass out here

Women, can't live with em






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[workhorse]

Is that a banana in your pocket or you just happy to see me ?

When someone involves you in an "us" sentence..... Who - you and the mouse in your pocket ??



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