Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
My wife and I decided we don't want children...We'll be telling them tonight at dinner.
Sometimes I watch birds soaring high above me and wonder, "If I could fly, who would I crap on?"
CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Lite. CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite. CEO of Coors orders a Coors Lite.
CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The other CEOs ask him why he didn't order a Guinness. He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
I'm gonna need some of you people to start getting weirder...I can't keep pulling all the weight like this.
Sometimes I watch birds soaring high above me and wonder, "If I could fly, who would I crap on?"
CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Lite. CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite. CEO of Coors orders a Coors Lite.
CEO of Guinness orders a Coke. The other CEOs ask him why he didn't order a Guinness. He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
I'm gonna need some of you people to start getting weirder...I can't keep pulling all the weight like this.
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
Life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
I could put the engine on the ground on mine in 5 minutes, but it was a Baja, so very little in the way. 4 bell housing bolts (studs), throttle cable, 6 electrical connections (coil, fuel shut-off solenoid, oil pressure, field and battery circuit to the generator, and ground). If I had my winter exhaust on it, add two linkages for the heater boxes. Throw an old tire under it, and give it a snatch. Going back in can be a little tricker without damaging the gland bearing. I was never in enough hurry to do it that fast, though. Neither was I real fond of adding things to the list of repairs that had me pulling the engine to start with.
