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DustyRusty

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Equipment
2020 BX23S, BX2822 Snowblower, Curtis Deluxe Cab,
Nov 8, 2015
6,293
4,872
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North East CT
pregnant2.jpg


A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
 
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Daren Todd

Daren Todd

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Lifetime Member

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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
10,199
6,708
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
 
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Toyboy

Toyboy

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Equipment
BX2230D - RCK60-22BX - BX5450
May 18, 2010
653
985
93
Hayward Wi
THE LIGHTER SIDE

Natural Medicine for Guys:

Go up to a tree and take a leak - If your pee attracts ants, you have diabetes,
If it dries fast, your sodium is high,
If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high,
If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's,
If you missed the tree, Parkinson's
If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate, and If you can't smell it, Covid-19.
I asked a supermarket employee where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see," and walked away.
I asked another and he also said, "I'll see," and walked away.
In the end, I gave up and found them myself, in Aisle

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? Bernadette.

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

I put our scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

FEW women admit their age - VERY few men act theirs.

When I was a kid, I used to watch the Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn't have a brain. Then I got Facebook.

As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of - it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, "That can't be accurate!"

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Apparently RSVP'ing to a wedding invitation with "Maybe next time" isn't the correct response.

A guy walks into a lumberyard and asks for some 2x4s. The clerk asks, "How long do you need them?" The guy answers, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

I just burned 1200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven.
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