Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
RCW
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A young man had a stable job and income and decided he wanted to get married and settle down. He was dating 3 women and liked them all so decided on a test to see which was most compatible for a lifetime mate. He gave each $5,000 and told them to use it as they saw fit.
The first lady went out and got a complete makeover with dental, Botox, hair color/styling and bought a complete new outfit. When they went out on their next date she told him "I did all this for you because I wanted you to be proud of me." He was very pleased.
The second lady spent all the money on gifts for the man and got him new golf clubs, hunting and fishing gear and clothes and presented it back to him and told him "I wanted you to really enjoy yourself and I love to see you doing the things you enjoy." He was very happy with her choices.
The third lady studied the market carefully and invested the money and quickly doubled the money, returned the original investment to him and set up accounts in both their names to keep the additional income rolling in. The man was amazed and very happy and impressed with her diligence and money management.
He sat down and reviewed all the things he had learned about each of the three women and finally made the hard choice about which to marry. He selected the one with the biggest boobs.
The first lady went out and got a complete makeover with dental, Botox, hair color/styling and bought a complete new outfit. When they went out on their next date she told him "I did all this for you because I wanted you to be proud of me." He was very pleased.
The second lady spent all the money on gifts for the man and got him new golf clubs, hunting and fishing gear and clothes and presented it back to him and told him "I wanted you to really enjoy yourself and I love to see you doing the things you enjoy." He was very happy with her choices.
The third lady studied the market carefully and invested the money and quickly doubled the money, returned the original investment to him and set up accounts in both their names to keep the additional income rolling in. The man was amazed and very happy and impressed with her diligence and money management.
He sat down and reviewed all the things he had learned about each of the three women and finally made the hard choice about which to marry. He selected the one with the biggest boobs.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed,
'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realising what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed,
'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
BREAKING NEWS:
President O'Biden has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Thump's Fault".
Geologists however have determined that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.
President O'Biden has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Thump's Fault".
Geologists however have determined that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.