Daily Chuckle

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, "What are you staring at?"
"A spider," he replies.
"I don't see anything," she says.
"Oh, it must have fallen on your head," he said calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming...
The man says, "While you're up, can you get me another beer?"

 

[Magicman]

On our local septic tank pumper truck,
"A Straight Flush Beats a Full House Anytime"

 

[Toyboy]

Fun handing out candy yesterday

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,

'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 70th birthday and it's today..'

The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming up,' says the bartender .

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming right up,' the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'

The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

 

[NCL4701]

Two actual business ads I wish I had pics of but don’t.

“Big Dog Concrete: The Longer We Rub It The Harder It Gets” (on all of their half dozen trucks)

Billboard in Greensboro, NC advertising attorney services: “Just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty! Call me now!”

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

Hey ya'll watch this

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[sagor]

 

[Magicman]

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of TAMPONS and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either."

 

[Daren Todd]

On our local septic tank pumper truck,
"A Straight Flush Beats a Full House Anytime"

Local porta potty pumper slogan "we are number 1 in the number 2 buisiness!!!"

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]