Daily Chuckle

[orange crusher]

 

[orange crusher]

 

[Magicman]

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. He grew up big, 6' 2'', and strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally became of age he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the Texas Rangers.

After a big mess of tests and interviews the Chief finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview.

The Chief says: "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good. But we have what you call an 'attitude suitability test' that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief says:

"Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
six democrats,
six republicans,
and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" says the young man.


"Great attitude," says the Chief. "When can you start?"

 

[Magicman]

While fishing off Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, a tourist from Maine capsized his boat. Petrified, he yelled to an older gentleman standing on the shore, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. Halfway there, he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do anything,” he said. “The sharks got ’em.”

 

[i7win7]

Police arrested neighborhood preditor today

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

My boy, only reads it for the articles

 

[orange crusher]

Police arrested neighborhood preditor today
View attachment 62666

 

[orange crusher]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold. They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.“ This belongs to you,” said Saint Peter. “Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man demanded.“ We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied.

 

[i7win7]

Wrong time to ask "A penny for your thoughts"?

 

[i7win7]

My, how times have changed

 

[i7win7]

Gonna have to call the doorbell repairman. Keeps ringing and no one's there.

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[jameister]

Little Johnny is at it again-


The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well,
That was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried.

similar joke, but use the word urinate instead of piss.....

and Johnny says:...you're an eight, teacher. but if you had bigger bosom you would be a ten.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

When the supervisor's away, the workers will play