Daily Chuckle

[dlsmith]

View attachment 97485

opps !

I think he has more ripper than dozer there.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a poor, humble man. The service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with that area, I got lost.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone, and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch.
I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down, and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, and we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I’ve never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

I guess that I was still lost.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Toyboy]

Christie Brinkley, 69, ....WOW, just WOW

 

[Old_Paint]

Me, when I've tried to put that little 5/16" long 6-32 screw in a hole that's got metal around it that is sharper than my 100th anniversary Buck pocket knife that I can normally shave with.

 

[Old_Paint]

An oldie, but still one of my favorites....

 

[Old_Paint]

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations.
It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble
because of language and cultural differences. For example.......

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la.
Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands
of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole"
or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then
researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic
equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as
"happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi
Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the
dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good"
came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got
translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so
refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it
was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the
company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car
in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company
found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford
pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were
supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."
However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word
"embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in
your pocket and make you pregnant."

An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market
which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope"
in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a
tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A
photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over
Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a
chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as
Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big
breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a
noticeable effect on sales.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno mag.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into
Schweppes Toilet Water.

Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered
English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex
tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist
Company changed its name.

In an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental
breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to extoll the drink's
eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence the slogan, "Orange juice. It
gets your pecker up."

 

[Daren Todd]

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations.
It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble
because of language and cultural differences. For example.......

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la.
Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands
of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole"
or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then
researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic
equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as
"happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi
Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the
dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good"
came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got
translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so
refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it
was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the
company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car
in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company
found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford
pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were
supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you."
However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word
"embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in
your pocket and make you pregnant."

An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market
which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope"
in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a
tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A
photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over
Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a
chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as
Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big
breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a
noticeable effect on sales.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a
notorious porno mag.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into
Schweppes Toilet Water.

Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered
English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex
tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist
Company changed its name.

In an effort to boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental
breakfast eating England, a campaign was devised to extoll the drink's
eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities. Hence the slogan, "Orange juice. It
gets your pecker up."

These lost in translations are still around the states. There's probably a name of a Chinese or Vietnamese restaurant near you with a questionable name.

Locally, we have the "Rong Chinese restaurant" that popped up several years ago.

It's still open, but any time I drive by, there are very few cars and don't know anyone who hase tried it. I have seen a delivery vehicle running around once or twice with their name on the little light up sign on the roof of the car.

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]