Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, Ah can think of one thang,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest, ugliest, and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face ... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.

I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick your butts... all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Outnumbered]

View attachment 66840

Sad but True!!!!!!!!

 

[Magicman]

A group of 40 year old buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitress's there had low cut blouses and were very young.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean..

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

 

[i7win7]

Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, "Here, maybe you'd like a nip to calm your nerves."

"Thanks," he said, and took a long pull from the container. "Here, you have one, too," he added, handing back the whiskey.

"Well, I'd rather not," said the first. "At least not until after the police have been here."

 

[i7win7]

My friend is making an absolute fortune by selling pictures of salmon dressed up in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'

My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
The doctor grabbed his stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly he noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and he was in the wrong one.

 

[Toyboy]

 

[i7win7]

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing ''Love'' stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?'' asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."

 

[i7win7]

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."
She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?"
His reply was: "The drugs are wearing off!"

 

[Magicman]

The doctor placed his stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,'. . . he instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . .replied the patient.

 

[Daylight]

I am posted in West Africa, where scenes like this one are a daily occurrence.

 

[skeets]

Ahhh no

 

[BigG]

I am posted in West Africa, where scenes like this one are a daily occurrence.

View attachment 66880 View attachment 66881

I hope he never runs for office.

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

The doctor had to be the bearer of bad
news when he told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, he heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

 

[Bmyers]