Daily Chuckle

i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,378
3,983
113
Central, IL
How would you like to crest the hill and find someone hogging the road
surprize.jpeg
 
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i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,378
3,983
113
Central, IL
New lawn service has some interesting equipment
hedge trimmer.jpg
 

Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,627
7,989
113
81
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A doctor was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man he asked . . .' So Bob, how was your
breakfast this morning?' ' It's very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste.'. .. . Bob replied.
The doctor then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
 
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lynnmor

Well-known member

Equipment
B2601-1
May 3, 2021
1,480
1,211
113
Red Lion
A doctor was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man he asked . . .' So Bob, how was your
breakfast this morning?' ' It's very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste.'. .. . Bob replied.
The doctor then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
He should have ordered the bacon flavored KY.
1633139874397.png
 

Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,627
7,989
113
81
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
A young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered a hospital emergency. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was
completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
 
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Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,627
7,989
113
81
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB,
he was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover his embarrassment
he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing him.
He looked up from his work and sheepishly said. . .
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .' '
 

Magicman

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,627
7,989
113
81
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
Baby's First Doctor Visit:

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied..

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,

But I'm glad I came.
 

i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,378
3,983
113
Central, IL
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”

“Yes, I know,” said the lady, “I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!”
 
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Reactions: 3 users

i7win7

Well-known member

Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Feb 21, 2020
3,378
3,983
113
Central, IL
My wife and I went to the County Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ..... Smiled and said, "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week".
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, "WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .......... You could learn a lot from him".
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said:
THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,"That's once a day .. You could REALLY learn something from this one".
I looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow".

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say I should eventually make a full recovery.
 
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