Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and that I would have to quit.

Then I caught her spending $65 for makeup.

I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.

She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.

I told her that was what the beer was for.

I don't think she is coming back...................

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

Few years back I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of mine said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty expensive four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," I said. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

 

[chim]

"But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

They're plentiful:

Used Toyota FJ Cruiser for Sale Near Me (with Photos) - CARFAX

Find the best Toyota FJ Cruiser for sale near you. Every used car for sale comes with a free CARFAX Report. We have 660 Toyota FJ Cruiser vehicles for sale that are reported accident free, 227 1-Owner cars, and 918 personal use cars.

www.carfax.com

I've been told that's what the "FJ" stands for

 

[Lil Foot]

My wife's nephew has one. "Just exactly like a LandCruiser"
Uhh, no.

I've been told that's what the "FJ" stands for

That's a left over from the original LandCruiser model designation, FJ40.

ICON4x4 • ICON FJ

FJ40 - Classic short wheel base style. Room for four plus some gear. Optimal turning radius and maneuverability. FJ43 - Long wheelbase, with an additional 8 sq. ft. of cabin space and seating for up to six, the ICON FJ43 allows more versatility and capacity. FJ44 - Four door extended wheelbase...

www.icon4x4.com

 

[bearbait]

My wife's nephew has one. "Just exactly like a LandCruiser"
Uhh, no.

That's a left over from the original LandCruiser model designation, FJ40.

ICON4x4 • ICON FJ

FJ40 - Classic short wheel base style. Room for four plus some gear. Optimal turning radius and maneuverability. FJ43 - Long wheelbase, with an additional 8 sq. ft. of cabin space and seating for up to six, the ICON FJ43 allows more versatility and capacity. FJ44 - Four door extended wheelbase...

www.icon4x4.com

Pretty sure Jeep stands for junk, owned one a few years back and got to know everyone at the dealership by their first name, very disappointing we had planned to keep it but the last time in they had to put a new transmission in it and it was only a year old. A few years before that, actually 2009 we bought a new Toyota FJ, the thing was rock solid, wish we still had it. Good on gas even with a 3" lift and 33's on it not to mention it would go just about anywhere unless you hung it up just like any other 4 wheel drive. Not the prettiest girl on the block but a darn good ride.

 

[Orangeglow]

A politician visits a remote northern reservation.

With news crews following him around as they tour the place, he asks the chief if there was anything they need.

"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs.

First, we have a medical clinic but no doctor to man it."

The politician whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days.

Now what was the second problem?"

"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive."

Once again, the politician dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people.

Now what was that third problem?"

The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

"Possumably" it was just hungry and needed feeding. Poor thang......

 

[Daren Todd]

"Possumably" it was just hungry and needed feeding. Poor thang......

Friend of my dad's and his wife moved into a rather dated mobile home that they just rented.

The gas company hadn't gotten out there to fill the propane tank so they were heating with just a couple electric space heaters so it was rather chilly inside.

Guy and his wife tucked into bed that night. About 2am he woke up feeling the cat wandering around the bed. Cat worked it's way up the bed and tucked in tight between him and his wife.

Then it dawned on him that they don't own a cat He reached over, turned on the light and realized that they had a possum tucked in bed between them.

 

[Old_Paint]

"Possumably" it was just hungry and needed feeding. Poor thang......

Went coon hunting one night. Dogs bayed, we went to them. Get to the dogs, and they're all circling a cow carcass. We knew about the dead cow, so didn't really concern us that much, but wondered why the dogs were so upset about it. Walked up, gave it a couple good kicks, and SEVEN possums came running out. I'll never kick a dead cow carcass again.

 

[Magicman]

Yes, I grew up on a cattle farm and have seen the same thing. A Possum is a Buzzard with 4 legs.

 

[papajoe]

I had a friend stop by one evening just as we were sitting down to supper. We were having baked possum. He told a story about a possum and a dead cow, adding that he hasn't eaten possum since. I told him that the possum didn't care how I made my living, why should I care how he made his? He pondered this for a few seconds, then pulled up a chair and dug in.

 

[old and tired]

Driving to my office this morning... Not sure if I should read anything more into it...

 

[Magicman]

I say nothing except that he should have known better.

 

[bucktail]

Driving to my office this morning... Not sure if I should read anything more into it...
View attachment 54245

Fake news

 

[Daren Todd]