Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said "Well, I eat a lot of rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies".
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said "I want five loaves".
The sales lady said "My goodness... five loaves? By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard".
The 80-year old man replied "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me".
The 87-year-old said "Well, I eat a lot of rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies".
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said "I want five loaves".
The sales lady said "My goodness... five loaves? By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard".
The 80-year old man replied "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me".
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
My neighbor adopted a infant from Korea (5 months old) Some people actually asked him how he was going to understand her when she started talking.
A Farmer and his tractor
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Bubba is passing by Daryl's barn one day, when through a gap in the door he sees him doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right boot, followed by the left.
He then hunches his shoulders forward, and in a classic striptease move, lets his suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his jeans.
Grabbing both sides of his plaid shirt he rips it apart to reveal his beer stained t-shirt underneath and with a final flourish he tosses his ball cap onto a haystack.
"What in tarnation are you doin', Daryl?" says Bubba.
"Whoa Bubba, ya scared the heck outta me", says an obviously embarrassed Daryl, "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist said I should do somethin' sexy to a tractor."
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Bubba is passing by Daryl's barn one day, when through a gap in the door he sees him doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right boot, followed by the left.
He then hunches his shoulders forward, and in a classic striptease move, lets his suspenders fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his jeans.
Grabbing both sides of his plaid shirt he rips it apart to reveal his beer stained t-shirt underneath and with a final flourish he tosses his ball cap onto a haystack.
"What in tarnation are you doin', Daryl?" says Bubba.
"Whoa Bubba, ya scared the heck outta me", says an obviously embarrassed Daryl, "but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist said I should do somethin' sexy to a tractor."
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
ShaunBlake
New member
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Equipment
B6100D; B219; Piranha bar; Hodge stabilizers; Filled Ag rears; R322T w/48" deck
Yep, cain't resist a challenge. They say hit cain't be dun 'n Ah see hit jis' ain't bin dun yet.
Lil Foot
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Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Really old man rocking on his front porch. The local pastor stopped to talk with him. During their conversation the pastor ask him how he was able to achieve such long life. "Whiskey every day and lots of women," the old man replied. "By the way," asked the pastor, "How old are you?" "Thirty-seven." the old man replied.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
An assignment in a creative writing class required students to write a concise essay containing the following elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery. The winning essay: “My God,” said the Queen. “I am pregnant! I wonder who did it?”
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"