Daily Chuckle

Old_Paint

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
LX2610SU, LA535 FEL w/54" bucket, LandPride BB1248, Woodland Mills WC-68
Dec 5, 2020
1,732
1,728
113
AL
great NOW I've got 1/2 dozen songs going off in my head.......at the same time......thanks....
Isn’t it strange that ear worms can be triggered without a single sound?
 

DustyRusty

Well-known member

Equipment
2020 BX23S, BX2822 Snowblower, Curtis Deluxe Cab,
Nov 8, 2015
6,237
4,816
113
North East CT
RIP RON SWANSON: South Texas man has one of the best obituaries ever
Charping died on Jan. 30, 2017 after a fight with cancer, aged 74. This was, according to the obit, “29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.”
“He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex-wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers,” the obit continues.
And it goes downhill from there:
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“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive,” the obit says.
Charping also had a handful of run-ins with the law, according to Harris County court records. His first conviction dates back to 1979, when he pleaded guilty to assault.
He also pleaded guilty in 2008 to assaulting a family member by pouring hot liquid on his then-wife of 40 years. The next year he pleaded guilty to violating the resulting restraining order by calling another family member and threatening to kill her.
According to the obituary, despite being intelligent, Charping lacked ambition, squandered the savings and chased "get rich quick schemes.
“Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned," the obituary read. "Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited [sic] sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.”
The closing line of the obit cuts rather deep:
“With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all."
Leslie, wherever you are, your obit is crashing the funeral home’s website for all the wrong reasons.
Feb 10, 2017|Updated Feb 14, 2017 12:32 p.m.
Craig Hlavaty
REPORTER, CHRON.COM / HOUSTON CHRONICLE
Craig Hlavaty is a freelance writer for chron.com and the Houston Chronicle.
 

DaTow'd

Active member

Equipment
what ever it takes to get the job done
Aug 13, 2013
209
194
43
Bella Coma BC Canada
A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, and then the new school year began.

One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across.

The next day they did the same thing, and the day after that.

The retiree then decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favour? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day, and do your thing".

The boys were more than happy, and continued to bang the bins. After a few days, the old man greeted the kids, but this time he had a sad smile on his face.
"This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "I'm going to have to cut it down to 50 cents a day for you to keep banging the bins."

The kids were obviously unimpressed, but they accepted the reduction in payment, and continued their afternoon activities.

A few days later, the man approached them again. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my payment yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"

"That's it?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time beating these around for 25 cents each a day, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!"

And the man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.
 
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Moose7060

Well-known member

Equipment
M7060, L3902 HST, Farm King PT740, HLA 2500 Snowpusher, LandPride RCR1872
Oct 14, 2023
506
1,134
93
bc
Farmer John was a sheep farmer. He raised sheep all over his property. One day, a beautiful young brunette came up and asked him, "Farmer John, if I can tell exactly how many sheep you have in your fields, can I have a lamb to take home and raise myself?"

Farmer John agreed, knowing wholeheartedly that he had way too many to guess accurately.

The beautiful, young brunette told him that he had 376 sheep in his field.

Farmer John was beside himself. He had exactly 376 sheep! Being a man of his word, he told her to go and pick out the sheep that she wanted.

For about an hour the, brunette was out in the field. Finally she returned with her choice. Farmer John looked and her and asked, "Now, can I ask you a question?"

The brunette complied.

Farmer John asked, "If I can tell you what color your hair was before you dyed it, can I please have my dog back?"
 
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Reactions: 1 user

fried1765

Well-known member

Equipment
Kubota L48 TLB, Ford 1920 FEL, Ford 8N, SCAG Liberty Z, Gravely Pro.
Nov 14, 2019
7,843
5,066
113
Eastham, Ma
RIP RON SWANSON: South Texas man has one of the best obituaries ever
Charping died on Jan. 30, 2017 after a fight with cancer, aged 74. This was, according to the obit, “29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.”
“He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex-wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers,” the obit continues.
And it goes downhill from there:
ADVERTISEMENT
Article continues below this ad
“At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive,” the obit says.
Charping also had a handful of run-ins with the law, according to Harris County court records. His first conviction dates back to 1979, when he pleaded guilty to assault.
He also pleaded guilty in 2008 to assaulting a family member by pouring hot liquid on his then-wife of 40 years. The next year he pleaded guilty to violating the resulting restraining order by calling another family member and threatening to kill her.
According to the obituary, despite being intelligent, Charping lacked ambition, squandered the savings and chased "get rich quick schemes.
“Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned," the obituary read. "Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited [sic] sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.”
The closing line of the obit cuts rather deep:
“With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all."
Leslie, wherever you are, your obit is crashing the funeral home’s website for all the wrong reasons.
Feb 10, 2017|Updated Feb 14, 2017 12:32 p.m.
Craig Hlavaty
REPORTER, CHRON.COM / HOUSTON CHRONICLE
Craig Hlavaty is a freelance writer for chron.com and the Houston Chronicle.
FANTASTIC!:ROFLMAO:
Thank you for posting!