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Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over.
Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her, “Nah, just put it on our tab. Old man Stacey won’t mind.”
So Sandra, being the good wife walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove. When she got home with the items she said, “Alan, old Stacey did actually mind putting the purchase on the tab and gave me a long lecture. Why didn’t you just give me some money?”
Alan replied, “Well, Sandra, I didn’t want to send you out there with cash when I wasn’t sure how thick the ice was!”
Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her, “Nah, just put it on our tab. Old man Stacey won’t mind.”
So Sandra, being the good wife walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove. When she got home with the items she said, “Alan, old Stacey did actually mind putting the purchase on the tab and gave me a long lecture. Why didn’t you just give me some money?”
Alan replied, “Well, Sandra, I didn’t want to send you out there with cash when I wasn’t sure how thick the ice was!”
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Alan died that night, and Sandra was interviewed next day by the RCMP.
.
RCMP: How was it that Alan died so suddenly?
Sandra: Poison. I suspect that somehow, (sniff. .. snuffle) he ended up with some gopher poison in him . . .
RCMP: um hmmm , but he seems to be badly bruised up?
Sandra: Well, yeah, that's because he didn't want to TAKE the poison! !
.
RCMP: How was it that Alan died so suddenly?
Sandra: Poison. I suspect that somehow, (sniff. .. snuffle) he ended up with some gopher poison in him . . .
RCMP: um hmmm , but he seems to be badly bruised up?
Sandra: Well, yeah, that's because he didn't want to TAKE the poison! !
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
PS. I fixed your punctuation. Guess that you slept through English class.
Well, not exactly.
Take a look at the very end of his post. See that exclamation point? Now see the two periods after it?
Yeah, you missed that. It was the only actual error in his post.
Gotcha!
I heard it as:I have no place to go to today and....
Nothing to do so.....
I'm already here and doing it.
I had nothing to do and nowhere to go today.
I had it all done by noon, and took the rest of the day off.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
The other day, my sister and i were reminiscing about some funnies. A few years ago she was growing tomatoes in her garden and noticed something eating them. She took me out to show me and was walking ahead of me a few steps. Something caught my eye and I stopped to look at it. I didn't recognize it as a native and thought maybe she had put out a fake to scare off the bandits. Dang, it looked real! I bent over to get a closer look and it ever so gently moved one eye, just one. Startled the heck out of me.
It was a full grown bearded dragon. We figured it must have escaped from one of her neighbors.
We weren't sure if it could be handled. By the time she talked to the pet store, if had disappeared.
It was a full grown bearded dragon. We figured it must have escaped from one of her neighbors.
We weren't sure if it could be handled. By the time she talked to the pet store, if had disappeared.
Last edited:
Same sister. She had a black cat, Sambo, that she had bottle fed as a kitten and he became a very loving cat. Also very talented.
I went to their back door one day and he had left them some of his handiwork on the doormat.
She thinks it was a rabbit, I think possibly a squirrel. But ole Sam had dissected it and cleaned each organ without damaging a thing.
I went to their back door one day and he had left them some of his handiwork on the doormat.
She thinks it was a rabbit, I think possibly a squirrel. But ole Sam had dissected it and cleaned each organ without damaging a thing.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake.
The owner of the farm shouted: "Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars. The silence was deafening.
Suddenly, a man jumped into the water. He was chased by crocodiles, but with great luck he was unharmed. The owner announced: "We have a winner!!!".
After receiving their reward, the man and his wife returned to the hotel room. The man tells his wife: "I did not jump in myself ... Someone pushed me !!!"
His wife smiled and said coldly: "It was me!"
Moral of the story: "Behind every successful man, there is always a woman to give him a little push."
The owner of the farm shouted: "Whoever jumps into the water and swims to shore, will receive 10 million dollars. The silence was deafening.
Suddenly, a man jumped into the water. He was chased by crocodiles, but with great luck he was unharmed. The owner announced: "We have a winner!!!".
After receiving their reward, the man and his wife returned to the hotel room. The man tells his wife: "I did not jump in myself ... Someone pushed me !!!"
His wife smiled and said coldly: "It was me!"
Moral of the story: "Behind every successful man, there is always a woman to give him a little push."