Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

NOW I HAVE A $250,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND FLAT SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.

SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT?
THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS

 

[Bmyers]

 

[orange crusher]

 

[orange crusher]

 

[orange crusher]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

 

[SAR Tracker]

....SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling SON-OF-A-BITCH! at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.....

I have a 40# lead block and a 5lb hammer to take out frustrations with...... Lead block is almost flat!

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[xrocketengineer]

View attachment 71096

Make sure is not this one!

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[ACDII]

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER:

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand-new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your Ex-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


Dear Ex-Husband, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So, when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So, take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich as Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.