i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
DAMN! How tall are the trucks where ever that is? Ours are 13'6" as a max. 14' in some provinces. But 15' posted as a LOW bridge!
NCL4701
Well-known member
Equipment
L4701, T2290, WC68, grapple, BB1572, Farmi W50R, Howes 500, 16kW IMD gen, WG24
I have been Diego. Twice. Went with a group of friends both times. They intervened before it came to blows both times. I now know if I’m drug into a Starbucks “venti Pike’s Place Roast, straight”. That’s all I know of such places. If I’m with those same friends, that’s all I’m allowed to say.
armylifer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor.
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."
The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate!"
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( o )( o ) "
"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts."
The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate!"
The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her ( o )( o ) "
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
One day, Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of beers. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It's a po-leece roadblock. We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the labels and stick 'em on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir," replied Earl. "We're on the patch!
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the labels and stick 'em on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir," replied Earl. "We're on the patch!
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
NCL4701
Well-known member
Equipment
L4701, T2290, WC68, grapple, BB1572, Farmi W50R, Howes 500, 16kW IMD gen, WG24
True story from this morning. Wife and I were headed out for a hike but saw an estate sale just a couple miles from home and decided to stop. We hadn’t planned to do any shopping, they took cash only, wife had zero cash, I had a little bit but hadn’t counted exactly how much.
Looking through some yard tools I saw a hoe in good shape with a $5 tag and I could use one that isn’t worn out. Sale was being run by husband and wife team. Asked them if they’d take $4. Guy said sure. My wife asked, “If you pay $4 for your hoe, do you have any left over for me?” I told her, “I got money for my ho but I ain’t got none left for you.” Couldn’t help saying it with a little bit of a smirk and a little laugh at the end.
The guy paused for a second and then about pissed himself laughing. My wife and his didn’t get it at all so they couldn’t figure out what was so funny and neither of us was explaining it.
I had $18 on me. I spent $4 of it. Wife spent the other $14, went home, got another $30, and spent $11 more.
Looking through some yard tools I saw a hoe in good shape with a $5 tag and I could use one that isn’t worn out. Sale was being run by husband and wife team. Asked them if they’d take $4. Guy said sure. My wife asked, “If you pay $4 for your hoe, do you have any left over for me?” I told her, “I got money for my ho but I ain’t got none left for you.” Couldn’t help saying it with a little bit of a smirk and a little laugh at the end.
The guy paused for a second and then about pissed himself laughing. My wife and his didn’t get it at all so they couldn’t figure out what was so funny and neither of us was explaining it.
I had $18 on me. I spent $4 of it. Wife spent the other $14, went home, got another $30, and spent $11 more.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
OK, a promise is a promise so I had better post a joke:
Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels
for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles
apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got
home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs,
restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that
Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better
than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed
took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for
their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you.
I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next
stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing
question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I
read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe
golf. If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"
Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a
problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being
totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last
five years I've been a hooker."
"I see," Ed replied thoughtfully. He looked down at the table, and was
quiet for a moment, deep in serious thought then he added, "You know, it's
probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the
ball."
Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels
for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles
apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got
home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs,
restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that
Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better
than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed
took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for
their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you.
I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next
stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing
question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I
read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe
golf. If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"
Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a
problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being
totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last
five years I've been a hooker."
"I see," Ed replied thoughtfully. He looked down at the table, and was
quiet for a moment, deep in serious thought then he added, "You know, it's
probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the
ball."
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
The Meaning of Service
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."
"It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.
So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.
I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service."
"It's the act of doing things for other people." Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.
So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. Suddenly, it all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are all about.
I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
if you can start the day without caffeine,
if you can get going without pep pills,
if you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains,
if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
if you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
if you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor one,
if you can conquer tension without medical help,
if you can relax without liquor,
if you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then you are probably the dog!!
if you can get going without pep pills,
if you can always be cheerful ignoring aches and pains,
if you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
if you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
if you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
if you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
if you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor one,
if you can conquer tension without medical help,
if you can relax without liquor,
if you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then you are probably the dog!!