Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left anote for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.

So he knocked on the door toclarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said,"I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill mybathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young andbeautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

 

[orange crusher]

 

[D2Cat]

To remove accusations of Racist advertising from real estate, many Realtors have changed the term Master Bedroom to Owner's Suite.

 

[bearbait]

For what it's worth in my mind which would probably scare chit out of most people I think it's time we all started with honesty and that should be starting at the top, if not we're fecked. Been around since the fifties and can't remember folks lying back then like people they do now. Getting so good folks can even tell the difference between BS or the truth, what ever happened??? Right now we're between a rock and a hard place (sorry) but it's true.. Don't rely on social media, don't rely on others because we all know we're all mental, just a matter of degree, take the time to think for yourself not some panty waste on the tube...not saying their all the same but, sorry didn't mean to lie to ya's. We have a lot of digging to get our asses out of the fix we're in right now.

 

[RCW]

For what it's worth in my mind which would probably scare chit out of most people I think it's time we all started with honesty and that should be starting at the top, if not we're fecked. Been around since the fifties and can't remember folks lying back then like people they do now. Getting so good folks can even tell the difference between BS or the truth, what ever happened??? Right now we're between a rock and a hard place (sorry) but it's true.. Don't rely on social media, don't rely on others because we all know we're all mental, just a matter of degree, take the time to think for yourself not some panty waste on the tube...not saying their all the same but, sorry didn't mean to lie to ya's. We have a lot of digging to get our asses out of the fix we're in right now.

Bear - - - not a chuckle at all, my friend, but relevant.

Well said, and applies to a lot of the aspects of living in 2021.....

I have a friend that was elected to the NYS Assembly this year. While his views are similar to mine, some of his newly-elected colleagues from NYC would scare the hell out of most of us....

Did anyone read George Orwell's 1984?

See Soylent Green with Charlton Heston?

 

[skeets]

And a Brave New World by Huxley you for got that one

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

Nice little town, everyone just passing through

 

[i7win7]

Some redneck found a new use for old stumps

 

[i7win7]

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.
To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved "I love you, Sally".

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, & its fifty-thousand dollars.

The husband says: "We've got to give it back".
She says, "Finders keepers" & puts the money back in the bag & hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two policemen are going from door-to-door in the neighbourhood looking for the money show up at their home.
One knocks on the door & says: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"
She says: "No"..
The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
She says: "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

But the policemen sit the man down & begin to question him.
One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."
The old man says: "Well, when Sally & I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
At this, the policeman looks at his partner & says: "We're outta here ..."

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Lil Foot]

Sounds like a boss I once had- that guy could talk for an hour & never say anything.

 

[i7win7]

Got the brake light working

 

[i7win7]

OSHA approved office chair

 

[i7win7]

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I’m sorry, but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you, your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

 

[i7win7]

Most men are like bank accounts...
When they don't have a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

 

[RCW]

Most men are like bank accounts...
When they don't have a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

That explains it. Always thought it was just me.....