Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

A deep hole

A pair of hunters were walking in the woods when they came across a large hole in the ground. One of them tossed a pebble into it. They listened and listened, but...nothing!

Intrigued, they found a good-sized rock and tossed it in. They and listened and listened, but...nothing!

The hunters then took a nearby railroad tie and muscled it into the hole. Seconds later, a goat suddenly shot past them and jumped into the hole! Shaken, the hunters decided to resume hunting.

They soon met a farmer who asked if they had seen his goat. The hunters reported that they had indeed seen a goat, but that she had thrown herself down an old abandoned well.

"Couldn't have been my goat," said the farmer. "She was roped to an old railroad tie."

 

[bearbait]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

With Winter coming fast my firewood business is off of the charts:

 

[Magicman]

I just got word that my Uncle Bill died peacefully in his sleep last night - not like the other five in the car with him who were yelling and screaming as he was driving at the time.

 

[sagor]

 

[hope to float]

With Winter coming fast my firewood business is off of the charts:

How did he keep a straight face

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Magicman]

A drunk staggered into the bar and yelled "Hey, gimme a beer." The bartender said " No way buddy, you've had enough." " Aw gee whiz"and the guy stumbled out. A little while later he came in the side door and again ordered a beer. The barkeep threw him out. An hour later he crashed through the back door and the "beertender" went into a rage. The guy looked at him in amazement and asked "Jesh tell me one shing, you work in every bar in town?"

 

[sawmill]

Our four year old great grandson’s trick or treat experience.

Some guy had one of those bowls with a motion sensor hand and Rush asked the guy what it is. The guy said "oh it's just a joke" Rush says "A joke!!? Ha..nope. Nope...too scary." And walked away without candy

Another house had one of those little wire fences around their tree. Rush didn't see it and ran right into it and tripped and fell. Got his clothes stuck on it and while he was trying to get up and unstuck, he's all mad and SHOUTS “IT's A TRAP!" and finally gets up and stomps away. Gets his candy and tells the guy thank you and have a nice night. And comes to tell us they have a "stupid trap" over there

Then the next house had a bowl of candy with hand sanitizer. Kendal used it, not knowing it'd burn her little cut she got on her hand today. So she holds her hand and says that it hurts. Rush goes "OHHH! They boobie trapped you like that other house did to me huh!?"

 

[ayak]

 

[D2Cat]

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

Farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Chuck said, "Ok then, just bring me the dead donkey." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

Farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

Farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs.

 

[Workerbee]

 

[armylifer]

View attachment 50193

Since it had to be from the grave we know who he voted for.

 

[Magicman]

Aren't you supposed to call your doctor if your election lasts this long?

 

[RCW]

Definitely good advice for the “mature” crowd common to OTT.

 

[Magicman]

Depends.

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Magicman]

The owner of a new business was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You are a college graduate and I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

 

[Daren Todd]