Daily Chuckle

[sawmill]

............

 

[olthumpa]

............

Where did you get that pic of my sister in-law?

 

[CaveCreekRay]

 

[Daren Todd]

That's some scarry stuff

 

[ironpony]

yup, two 240v, a 110v and a 12v dc model, that's some scary stuff

 

[Lil Foot]

And these people vote.

 

[sawmill]

That's some scarry stuff

Yep......One day I was using one like the one at the top of the picture and it slipped and went into my finger. Hurt like hell. Sure glad it wasn't set on rapid fire.

 

[Daren Todd]

Yep......One day I was using one like the one at the top of the picture and it slipped and went into my finger. Hurt like hell. Sure glad it wasn't set on rapid fire.

Same thing happened to me too!!!! Got one finger. Then not 20 minutes later, I got my hand

 

[sawmill]

Y'all be careful out there. Wal-Mart is now selling hollow point bullets for assault rifles.

 

[olthumpa]

and for the radical fanatic full auto freaks
when toooooo much isn't enough

 

[Diydave]

This one may be a repeat...

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of dog food at Wal-Mart. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to give it a try again. (I have to mention here that everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my b***s and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

 

[Diydave]

whilst on the subject of dogs... https://youtu.be/ooJvKARiums

 

[Newlyme]

You know those studies that say eggs are good one week and bad the next and red wine makes you live longer only to be debunked the next month. We'll I finally found one that is timeless!

A recent study done at Johns Hopkins University found that...
"Women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the man who mentions it"

 

[skeets]

LMAO @ Newlyme

 

[85Hokie]

Same thing happened to me too!!!! Got one finger. Then not 20 minutes later, I got my hand

I use #2 square drive screws for damn near everything we do in the shop/home. Last year I placed a little too much a$$ behind the drill and the bit slipped off the screw and placed itself into the flat part of my thumb, there aint enough cuss words available to describe that feeling.....and bleed, wow - bleed through 3 paper towels and duct tape!

little mother hurt for 2 months!

but pain does make you remember not to do it again......at least that is what I hear!

 

[Daren Todd]

I use #2 square drive screws for damn near everything we do in the shop/home. Last year I placed a little too much a$$ behind the drill and the bit slipped off the screw and placed itself into the flat part of my thumb, there aint enough cuss words available to describe that feeling.....and bleed, wow - bleed through 3 paper towels and duct tape!

little mother hurt for 2 months!

but pain does make you remember not to do it again......at least that is what I hear!

I see we use the same bandaids they hold better then the regular ones

Yup, those bits like to bite

 

[85Hokie]

This one may be a repeat...

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of dog food at Wal-Mart. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to give it a try again. (I have to mention here that everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my b***s and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

I had a visual of that last part! AND the woman's face ! I'll pay to be in that line, to hear you tell that again!

 

[sawmill]

Two guys were walking down the sidewalk and saw a dog licking his b###s. One guy said "I wish I could do that." The other guy said "if you pet him first he might let you."

 

[Howling]

Few years ago when newspaper was doing telemarketing for subscribers. I asked "Why are you selling newspapers to blind people?" They don't have an answer for that.

Between home and business lines I got to ask it 3 times.

 

[Newlyme]

LMAO @ Newlyme

You think that's funny...

I saw that posted at the waitress station in a restaurant I was at today.
When I got home tonight I repeated it to the Mrs, she laughed alright, AND then said is there any reason you're bringing this up?

THAT'S when my life flashed before my eyes!

I'm still here as of this post.