Daily Chuckle

[woodman55]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Gary Olson]

 

[PHPaul]

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I told my wife that if I ever got desperate enough to work at China Mart, I wouldn't last until my first break.

"Good GOD, woman, does your husband know you go out looking like that?" and/or
"Welcome to WalMart. Git yer shit and git out."

 

[Magicman]

 

[Bearcatrp]

I told my wife that if I ever got desperate enough to work at China Mart, I wouldn't last until my first break.

"Good GOD, woman, does your husband know you go out looking like that?" and/or
"Welcome to WalMart. Git yer shit and git out."

I wouldn’t last a day. After seeing the walmartians walking in, then telling them to go home and dress somewhat appropriate before coming back, would get fired.

 

[woodman55]

 

[DaTow'd]

After being married for many many years, a wife asked her husband to
describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said: "You're an
alphabet wife... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks: "What the hell does that mean?"

He said: "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,
Gorgeous and Hot".

She smiled happily and said: "Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said: "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

 

[Gary Olson]

 

[mikester]

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That's a pretty big assumption that both kids have the same father...

 

[Henro]

 

[old and tired]

View attachment 116563

Or this is why you should plant palm trees, to put up Christmas Lights!!

 

[Magicman]

"I went to school to be a veterinarian, that is what I did, I liked animals and I thought I will be a veterinarian. I went to Auburn, I was gonna be a veterinarian and a taxidermist, so I could say either way you get the dog back."


Andy Andrews

 

[Magicman]

King Solomon had 700 wives.......... why?

Maybe he was hoping he would go home and find one of them in a good mood!

 

[Magicman]

This is not actually a joke but an observation. A local lady that went to school with my kids, is part of a new "high scale" beauty shop in town. Well they were having their open house the other night and invited me to stop in. I went in there and shot the bull with a couple of guys I know and watched all of the ladies talking. If they had straight hair the wanted to add curls to it. If they had curly hair they are talking about straightening it. If they have small breast they talk about getting bigger ones. If they have large breast they talk about reducing them. Of course Botox, make up, clothes, and men were all part of their conversation. The thing that hit me is every one of these ladies were absolutely beautiful the way they are. Yet they were not happy with what God had given them. If God can't make women happy, what makes us guys think we can?

 

[xrocketengineer]

This is not actually a joke but an observation. A local lady that went to school with my kids, is part of a new "high scale" beauty shop in town. Well they were having their open house the other night and invited me to stop in. I went in there and shot the bull with a couple of guys I know and watched all of the ladies talking. If they had straight hair the wanted to add curls to it. If they had curly hair they are talking about straightening it. If they have small breast they talk about getting bigger ones. If they have large breast they talk about reducing them. Of course Botox, make up, clothes, and men were all part of their conversation. The thing that hit me is every one of these ladies were absolutely beautiful the way they are. Yet they were not happy with what God had given them. If God can't make women happy, what makes us guys think we can?

You are so correct. My nephew's wife in Puerto Rico has a masters degree and she left the corporate environment to establish her own beauty salon. She is doing so well that she even gets customers from the West end of the island which is almost 100 miles away. Here is her promotion video for this past Halloween:

Esteticista | Anushka Soto on Instagram: "¡Miren👀! #ScreamGhostFace🔪👻 vino de visita🫣 a 📍LeBeau✨ en busca de un tratamiento para cerrar su temporada con un rostro de fantasma 👻 luminoso🎃 y libre de exceso de piel muerta 🧟‍♂️. Realizamos una evaluación 🤔🧐 en donde se determinó el mejor tratamiento para su necesidad; y claro… Scream lo quería hacer a su modo 🔪 🫨. 🔪 🔪 🔪 Entonces le explicamos que el tratamiento Dermaplaning consiste en una exfoliación mecánica de la superficie de la piel donde se utiliza un bisturí quirúrgico del número 10 para eliminar las células muertas y los vellos faciales. Por tanto, solo deberá realizarlo un profesional debidamente cualificado y experimentado y no un a$es¡n@ en serie🤭. Demás está decir, Scream se fue con mucha satisfacción diciendo que volverá 🫣 🏃‍♀️💨 . #dermaplaning #Scream #viralreels"

117 likes, 81 comments - lebeauesthetique on October 31, 2023: "¡Miren👀! #ScreamGhostFace🔪👻 vino de visita🫣 a 📍LeBeau✨ en busca de un tratamiento para cerrar su temporada con un rostro de fantasma 👻 luminoso🎃 y libre de exceso de piel muerta 🧟‍♂️. Realizamos una evaluación 🤔🧐 en donde se...

www.instagram.com

 

[Old_Paint]

This is not actually a joke but an observation. A local lady that went to school with my kids, is part of a new "high scale" beauty shop in town. Well they were having their open house the other night and invited me to stop in. I went in there and shot the bull with a couple of guys I know and watched all of the ladies talking. If they had straight hair the wanted to add curls to it. If they had curly hair they are talking about straightening it. If they have small breast they talk about getting bigger ones. If they have large breast they talk about reducing them. Of course Botox, make up, clothes, and men were all part of their conversation. The thing that hit me is every one of these ladies were absolutely beautiful the way they are. Yet they were not happy with what God had given them. If God can't make women happy, what makes us guys think we can?

Venus and Mars, dude, Venus and Mars.

 

[i7win7]