Daily Chuckle

[Daren Todd]

 

[D2Cat]

After scientists determined that sharks off of the Florida coast have been digesting cocaine bales, a confidential anonymous source in the White House said they heard Kamala Harris mumbling, “sharks are not the only coke heads under water.”

 

[D2Cat]

 

[RCW]

View attachment 107892

Daren - your picture made me laugh..

As a Bar Keeper almost 40 years ago, I saw some things just before and after “Last Call!” I will never be able to unsee…..

 

[Magicman]

 

[Daren Todd]

Daren - your picture made me laugh..

As a Bar Keeper almost 40 years ago, I saw some things just before and after “Last Call!” I will never be able to unsee…..

I might have been that kid in the picture once or twice It can get scary when you put on a pair of beer goggles

 

[i7win7]

 

[Daren Todd]

You know some idiots gonna fall for this

 

[Daren Todd]

Probably this person.

 

[D2Cat]

Police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, " Our patrol helicopter clocked you at 80 mph. sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut."
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

 

[Magicman]

 

[Toyboy]

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

And here we go...

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason
Why Men Prefer Guns over Women.....

#1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun.

 

[D2Cat]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[85Hokie]

View attachment 108035

I resemble that thought!!! Except there would be some cheap Chinese knock off vice grips involved.

 

[Daren Todd]

I resemble that thought!!! Except there would be some cheap Chinese knock off vice grips involved.

Harbor freight

 

[xrocketengineer]

My favorite comedy skit.....

 

[Magicman]