Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

Last night walking the dog I walked past the cemetery.Three girls walked up to me and told me they were really scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let them walk along with me. I told them
“I understood..because I used to get freaked out too when I was alive...”

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

That's false on several levels.


The cannabis that gets a person high didn't exist then. It was created by the federal government in the early 1900s when they were trying to breed a better grade of hemp for making ropes.


That minor fact busts the "cowboys smoked loco weed, which was really pot", too.

No, Loco weed is, LOCO weed

Locoweed (Astragalus and Oxytropis spp.) : USDA ARS

Locoweed

www.ars.usda.gov

.

When I rode fences as a kid used to carry a small shovel and dig them up and throw them over the fence so the cattle wouldn't eat them, as yes they make you crazy!
And the Cowboy smoking loco weed, meant he was out of his mind!

 

[Mark_BX25D]

No, Loco weed is, LOCO weed

Yes, but some have tried to claim they were all sitting around smoking doobies. Not possible, as it wasn't bred yet.

 

[i7win7]

 

[Daylight]

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand),so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass
and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[ayak]

View attachment 99323

National Enquirer exclusive— “What really happened to John Lennon—-Beamed up by aliens and later back down, Scotty?”

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

An Irishman, Mick, was on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” He had already won 500,000 euros. “You’ve done very well,” said the presenter, “but for a million euros, you’ve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. “Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest? A) Sparrow B) Thrush C) Magpie D) Cuckoo. “I don’t know,” said Mick. “I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy.” Paddy wasn’t the smartest, but Mick had his number memorized. Mick rang and repeated the question to Paddy. “Dat’s simple. It’s a cuckoo!” Paddy said, “Are you sure? There’s a lot of money on this!” “Yes!” Mick hung up the phone and said, “I’ll go with cuckoo.” “Is that your final answer?” asked Chris. “Yup.” There was a pause then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is correct! You’ve won one million euros!” Mick called Paddy. “Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?” “Well, duh! Because he lives in a clock!”

 

[i7win7]