Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

BURGLARY IN FLORIDA (You just can't make this stuff up!!)

When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized
recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even
left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a "generic
white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder." (That's the
way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, that "it looked
similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit
the big time."

Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with
the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my sister,
Gertrude. She died three years ago."

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer
known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard
box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained. Taped to
the box was this note which said: "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so
we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings.
Have a nice day."

 

[Magicman]

A few years ago a fellow walked into a bank in a little community about 50 miles south of Washington DC, and said, "this is a stickup, give me all your money". Having forgot to bring a bag to put it in, he stuffed the bills into all his pockets, including the dye pack. He then ran out of the bank, trailing $100 bills through the parking lot as he ran to his car. At this point the dye pack exploded, covering him with paint and blowing out his pocket, scattering more money in the parking lot. Being mindful of the possibility of thieves in the area, he had locked his car before going in to rob the bank. With all the money stuffed into his pockets, he couldn't get to his car keys. So he runs to the neighboring woods and brings back a big stick (Another useful forest product from a well managed forest......). He begins whailing on his car window with said forest product, trying to break it to get in. (How he planned to start the car with his keys inaccessible in his pocket under a huge wad of money is still a mystery.....)

At this point, people in the parking lot became suspicious. (Like I said, it's a small community - people tend to mind their own business) A few of them ran up and tackled him. He reacted by trying to pull a pistol from a pocket (guess he didn't stuff ALL his pockets with money). In the process, he shot himself in the leg.

Taken to a hospital in nearby Richmond, VA, the police did a background check on him. They found out he had just been released from a Maryland prison after serving 10 years for........attempted bank robbery.

 

[dirtydeed]

saw this one today

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Lil Foot]

View attachment 84418

That would be my solution to the crime problem.

 

[Magicman]

 

[armylifer]

View attachment 84418

That's for making soylent green.

 

[Magicman]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[skeets]

View attachment 84510

Now thats funny I dont care who you are !!!!

 

[Bmyers]

For those that don't know the person in the above image, here is a short video showing his skills

 

[skeets]

And his Daughter is almost as fast

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[bird dogger]

My wife has two very strict unwritten rules in our house:

1.
2.