Daily Chuckle

Daylight

Well-known member

Equipment
BX231, Ortolan T10
Feb 25, 2021
381
559
93
6860
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500." Frank Sinatra

It isn't pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert de Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So... what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
 

Daylight

Well-known member

Equipment
BX231, Ortolan T10
Feb 25, 2021
381
559
93
6860
On a door close to my office. Funny, yet oh so sad, and no one ever seems to see it but me...

IMG_0067.JPG
 
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ve9aa

Well-known member

Equipment
TG1860, BX2380 -backblade, bx2830 snowblower, fel, weight box,pallet forks,etc
Apr 11, 2021
1,200
981
113
NB, Canada
On a door close to my office. Funny, yet oh so sad, and no one ever seems to see it but me...

View attachment 84330
That's funny and reminded me of something that happened to me about 10 yrs ago.

Up the hallway from my shop was a dept entitled "Decision Support"

One day I walked in there as I had some mail that had been accidently delivered to us and I saw a young lady with her feet up on the desk talking on the phone. She had a confused look on her face as she spoke to someone else from work witihin the bldg (I could tell, by what was being said). I stood there for a minute or two waiting to speak with her and about every other sentence out of her mouth (to the caller on the phone) was something like "I don't know"...."I am not sure"...."well maybe".....

Go back and see what I said her dept name was !
 
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Lil Foot

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
May 19, 2011
7,641
2,721
113
Peoria, AZ
When our company was bought out by another, one of the endless, almost universally stupid things they did was to spend about a million bucks having a signage consulting firm come in and survey the plant.

They decided (surprise!) that we needed new signs on all the doors, offices, labs, departments, areas, gates, parking, hallways, personal cubicles, you get the idea.

My machine shop went from "Secure Machining & Development Lab" to "Maching Shop".

My personal lab went from "Vytran Lab" to "Vitron Lab".

Our "Engineering and Sciences" area was rebadged "Enigeering and Sceinces".

I wish I had been able to take pics.
 

chim

Well-known member

Equipment
L4240HSTC with FEL, Ford 1210
Jan 19, 2013
2,209
1,352
113
Near Lancaster, PA, USA
At the company I retired from last year, a few of us enjoyed some lighthearted phone antics. When the girl at one of our vendors offices answered the phone with "Good afternoon. Melissa speaking", one of the guys asked if her sister worked at another well-known local business. She asked why, and he told her that when he calls there, their girl answers "Betty speaking" and he thought they might be relatives.

I called a business and a real live person answered with "XXX Company where we always have time for you. Could you hold please?"

It was one of those trying days when the secretary put a old-calling salesman through to me. His opening was "I just wanted to reach out to you .......". I told him that the next time someone calls offering to "reach out to me" I'm going to puke right into the phone. I guess I just wasn't in a buying mood that day.

One bud (on more than one occasion) got a call offering an extended warranty on is car. He expressed some faked interest and asked "Which one?". guy on the phone said "The one you drive". I drive a couple different ones, which one", and so on.
 

Newlyme

Active member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
May 27, 2015
637
74
28
Nelson Ohio USA
I used to work at Coca Cola. Our plant was a pretty good one at the time and earned corporate achievements often. When we received a big trophy that the plant manager was so proud of he had a display case made and showed it off to all.
Not being able to resist the urge….
I placed a sign next to the display, “If you wish to have your picture taken with this award please call ext xxx to set up a time”. We all got a chuckle.