And if she says "go ahead and buy it if you want" you best think it over cause it's gonna cost ya.
Daily Chuckle
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Daren Todd
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Usually the same or more then what you spentAnd if she says "go ahead and buy it if you want" you best think it over cause it's gonna cost ya.
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I saw this on the net and it made me think of some of the guys here. Quite the creative idea!
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
PHPaul
Well-known member
Equipment
B2650, Pronovost snow blower, Landpride rotary mower, Howard tiller, box blade
My buddies and I refer to that as "SET" or Spousal Equity Tax. You're lucky if it's just 1:1...Usually the same or more then what you spent
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When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably
in prison.
To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time
between yesterday and 15 years ago.
Interviewer: "So, tell me about yourself."
Me: "I'd rather not. I kinda want this job."
Cop: "Please step out of the car."
Me: "I'm too drunk. You get in."
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as
a Tupperware lid the doesn't fit any of your containers.
If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to
you, just stare straight ahead and say "Did you bring the money?"***65279;***65279;
When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing,"
it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is new midnight.
I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days,
but whatever.
I run like the winded.
I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the
beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint
and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
I don't remember much from last night, but the fact that
I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells
me it was awesome.
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like
a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember
things and get really excited.
When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns
you into a karate master.
Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta
nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
We call those people cops.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb
in prison.
To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time
between yesterday and 15 years ago.
Interviewer: "So, tell me about yourself."
Me: "I'd rather not. I kinda want this job."
Cop: "Please step out of the car."
Me: "I'm too drunk. You get in."
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as
a Tupperware lid the doesn't fit any of your containers.
If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to
you, just stare straight ahead and say "Did you bring the money?"***65279;***65279;
When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing,"
it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is new midnight.
I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days,
but whatever.
I run like the winded.
I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the
beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint
and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
I don't remember much from last night, but the fact that
I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells
me it was awesome.
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like
a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember
things and get really excited.
When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring.
Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns
you into a karate master.
Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta
nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
We call those people cops.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Stolen from a local forum....
A simplified urine test that may be relevant for the gentlemen of a certain age…
Go outside and pee in the garden.
1.If ants gather:- diabetes.
2.If you pee on your feet:- prostate.
If it smells like a barbecue:- cholesterol.
If, when you shake it, your wrist hurts:- osteoarthritis.
If you return to your room with your penis outside your pants:- Alzheimers.
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
A simplified urine test that may be relevant for the gentlemen of a certain age…
Go outside and pee in the garden.
1.If ants gather:- diabetes.
2.If you pee on your feet:- prostate.
If it smells like a barbecue:- cholesterol.
If, when you shake it, your wrist hurts:- osteoarthritis.
If you return to your room with your penis outside your pants:- Alzheimers.
Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk
A lady in The Villages, in Florida (a senior retirement community), was sitting on a bench, near another bench where a gentleman was sitting. She asked him if he was new to the community and he said "no, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".
She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"
He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done.
He said that he had murdered his first wife!
She was stunned again … and after a long pause she said ...
“So, you're SINGLE???”
She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"
He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done.
He said that he had murdered his first wife!
She was stunned again … and after a long pause she said ...
“So, you're SINGLE???”
I NEED one of this! Better if it also says “I own lots of acres”!
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North Idaho Wolfman
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
L3450DT-GST, Woods FEL, B7100 HSD, FEL, 60" SB, 743 Bobcat with V2203, and more
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
