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Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Newlyme
Active member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
Q; What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
A; A Hippo is really heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter.
A; A Hippo is really heavy and a Zippo is a little lighter.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
BIOLOGY EXAM:
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.
The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A+.
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.
The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A+.
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week.
"Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, ...............
But I fish on Fridays!
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow.
The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week.
"Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, ...............
But I fish on Fridays!
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
After many years of successful practice as respected gynecologist the Doctor decided to change careers. He had bought a small farm and acquired a few various animals and the older used equipment to do the work of putting up feed, harvesting etc.
Because shop time to keep his equipment operational was quite expensive he decided to enroll in a mechanics course at the local community college.
At the end of his course he completed the written portion of the exam and received a grade of 100%.
He proceeded to the shop for the practical segment of the exam and commenced to disassemble and reassemble a Kubota engine.
After several hours of meticulous work he completed the task and turned to the examination supervisor to ask for his marks. The supervisor handed him the sheet and the mark at the top was 150%!
The Doctor looked at it for a minute and then asked the examiner how it was possible to achieve such a spectacular grade.
The examiner replied; " I've watched a lot of students complete this examination practicum with resulting top marks but no one has ever done it through the muffler!
Because shop time to keep his equipment operational was quite expensive he decided to enroll in a mechanics course at the local community college.
At the end of his course he completed the written portion of the exam and received a grade of 100%.
He proceeded to the shop for the practical segment of the exam and commenced to disassemble and reassemble a Kubota engine.
After several hours of meticulous work he completed the task and turned to the examination supervisor to ask for his marks. The supervisor handed him the sheet and the mark at the top was 150%!
The Doctor looked at it for a minute and then asked the examiner how it was possible to achieve such a spectacular grade.
The examiner replied; " I've watched a lot of students complete this examination practicum with resulting top marks but no one has ever done it through the muffler!
North Idaho Wolfman
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
L3450DT-GST, Woods FEL, B7100 HSD, FEL, 60" SB, 743 Bobcat with V2203, and more
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
They should stock ATMs better. I went to four different ones and they all said; "Insufficient Funds".
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Only in America -
1. Do we order a double whopper meal with cheese, biggee size with an apple pie and a diet coke.
2. Have drive up ATM's in Braille.
1. Do we order a double whopper meal with cheese, biggee size with an apple pie and a diet coke.
2. Have drive up ATM's in Braille.