May be time to sell

[bearbait]

As much as I hate to I think it may be time to sell. My mother who is a 5 hour drive away is not doing very well and my own health isn't great, the beauty of getting old. I know it's not the best time of year to sell but you never know. Boy I'll miss this place, always said they'd have to carry me out.

 

[mickeyd]

I know what you mean about getting older.

All of our parents have been gone for some time now.

We sold our daughter 10 acres cheap so that she would build a house and live close by to take care of us.

 

[SidecarFlip]

Kind of in the same boat as you but unlike you, we will never sell the farm. Our piece of heaven.

Good luck. Anytime is a good time to sell a tractor in reality, even though the market is depressed right now.

 

[skeets]

Trust me my friend been there done that, but please think this through. I know you love Mom and there is nothing you wouldnt do for her. Think about yourself, you worked hard for what you have you love it there and you deserve it, do you think Mom would want you to give that up?
I know mine didnt, it was however that sense of duty and honor we all feel towards Mom and Dad that made me give up what I had worked for to be with them.
You do what you have to do my friend, whats best for you. Because once you walk away from what you have, odds on you can never walk back to it. Suffer the 5 hours a couple times a month, be with her let her know she is loved and missed when you are not with her. Try and find a home health care provider, to be with her. Like I say I do understand, I also know that when things end, you will never be able to go back to where you love.
The best to you my friend, and my prayers for you and the clan

 

[jajiu]

I know the feeling, I'm pushing 70 and have 5 acres in MA with a 1000' long gravel drive with a steep hill. Constant upkeep, trees down across drive, wash-out on hill from heavy rain, snow removal, cutting/splitting firewood, etc. The thing is my privacy. I butt up against conservation land and nearest neighbor is several hundred feet thru the woods. I know most people in town, I'm involved in the politics and senior center in town and have many friends. Thought of moving into a condo to ease the load and get out of MA, but love where I live and like skeets says, you'll never be able to go back once you make that move. I love where I live, they'll have to drag me out of here.

 

[bearbait]

I know the feeling, I'm pushing 70 and have 5 acres in MA with a 1000' long gravel drive with a steep hill. Constant upkeep, trees down across drive, wash-out on hill from heavy rain, snow removal, cutting/splitting firewood, etc. The thing is my privacy. I butt up against conservation land and nearest neighbor is several hundred feet thru the woods. I know most people in town, I'm involved in the politics and senior center in town and have many friends. Thought of moving into a condo to ease the load and get out of MA, but love where I live and like skeets says, you'll never be able to go back once you make that move. I love where I live, they'll have to drag me out of here.

Man sounds almost identical to mine. I have 7 acres, water surrounding it on 3 sides then 400 acres of crown land next door. Hey we even drive the same tractor. Skeets is right but if my health keeps going down hill there is no way my wife can handle the work of looking after the mile long driveway not to mention staying here buy herself. The way I'm looking at it is if I put it up for sale now not being in a big rush to sell I can hold out for what it's worth. However if I wait I may be forced to sell lower than I want. Anyway we will see, to tell you the truth I'd really miss the snow removal and working on the road not to mention boating and fishing.

 

[SidecarFlip]

5 acres is pretty manageable. We have 53 plus rented land, another 60. Wish I had 5 sometimes. I mow 7 in just lawn.

The older I get the harder it is and with my ongoing issues, it's even worse.

 

[Stmar]

This is a sad thread because it hits home. We are in a similar situation, pushing late 60's, 50+ acres bordering thousands of acres of state land, all the horses are gone but let the neighbor graze his. Just don't know how long I will be able to maintain the equipment and property. Elder family is all gone so no pressure there, siblings and other relatives are 2000 miles away. Have contemplated a move south but don't know if dealing with all the humans would be worth it. On the bright side our property is in a desirable location, just ask all the Californians moving in, lol.

 

[Wbk]

Your right about selling you can hold out for your price or take it off the market if you please your in the drivers seat. Good luck with your decision it's probably one of the most important ones you'll ever make.

 

[jajiu]

Bearbait, my family heritage originates in PEI. Been to Cape Breton while on a cruise from Montreal to Boston, would like to drive up some time and tour. My wife and I traveled all around PEI. As far as selling it's nice to be able to put it on the market and hold out for my price when the time is right. My advantage is my place is paid for and we can afford to buy and wait to sell. Health wise I'm in good shape but things do happen. Seven years ago I had my left rotator cuff repaired and that eats up 6 months in rehab. Now, my right shoulder needs to be done. The older I get, the longer the rehab.

 

[NoJacketRequired]

I read this and keep thinking of my father. He's 84, living in the middle of 186 acres of bush. He has artificial knees, an artificial hip and an artificial shoulder joint but otherwise is in pretty good health. Right now I'm fixing up a B7510 with a cab and front-mounted blower that he can use to keep his half mile of driveway open this winter.

Good health is the key to it all.

 

[bearbait]

I read this and keep thinking of my father. He's 84, living in the middle of 186 acres of bush. He has artificial knees, an artificial hip and an artificial shoulder joint but otherwise is in pretty good health. Right now I'm fixing up a B7510 with a cab and front-mounted blower that he can use to keep his half mile of driveway open this winter.

Good health is the key to it all.

Your absolutely right, good health means everything but for the many of us that worked hard (and maybe played hard) all our lives it takes it's toll when we get older. If this old body was a used car I wouldn't get much for it but as long as I'm still around to bitch about it, it's all good.

 

[Creature Meadow]

BB, exactly what my mother did about 6 years after my father passed.

Sold the rental to me, the barns and property associated with it to me.

Sold her house and 5 acres to my cousin and moved into a rental house 1 mile down the road.

He take was no maintenance and call the owner when something breaks. She covers her rent plus by renting out 2 rooms to local college students who also provide company for her.

 

[bearbait]

At 62 I'm really not ready to leave however after going through 5 surgeries in the past 6 years I just don't know how this will end up. Now I'm not crying in my beer by no means, I have the best life a man could ask for. Been with the same women (friend) since I was 18 and married at 19 and still happy as a pig in crap. I just want to make sure she's in a comfortable safe place just in case, there is no way she could make it in here on her own. For me things always have a way of working out, always optimistic. I've really enjoyed everyone's replies, funny how we all can be so different but then again so much alike.

 

[D2Cat]

Bearbait, sounds like you have two dilemmas. One is your mother maybe needing some attention and she's 5 hrs away, and then your wife not being able to handle all the chores if you can't.

You don't mention other family members or children in the equation and that could add another dimension. Set down with whoever is involved and do some green light thinking, nothing right, nothing wrong, just ideas. Get a lot of ideas tossed out and then start to come up with the best or combine some of them.

Maybe move your mom closer, or to your home. Have someone in her community keep a close eye on her and report to you how she is doing. Let someone live with her in her home in return for the company and safety factor.

For yourself and wife, as your health dictates the feeling you need to move but your desire is to stay there, do the same thing. Look at all the possibilities you can dream up. Then discuss what you both think will be the best.

My wife and I took care of our neighbors for a few years. His wife passed away and a few years later needed help himself. They had no children. After we saw how that went, my wife and I put everything in a trust. That document forces you to think through the situation you bring up and lets you have peace of mind knowing the plan. If I'm gone she knows what realtor to call, and what auctioneer! She can sell anything or everything and do whatever she wants.

The plan, whatever it is, brings peace of mind.

 

[RCW]

Wow, these are all tough decisions, and some good advice.

We are both in our middle '50's and working. Still one kid in college. We now live on 6 acres of house/lawn and hilly woods.

I grew up on 500+ acres of dairy farm and woods, my wife on a city lot... The last 190 acres were sold in 1989, and I still miss it.....

We both have parent(s) an hour away, in the 80-ish range that own homes.

Good health all around, for the most part.....

My bride has not been a part of maintenance, ever.

bearbait - I have seen many of your property photos here with envy. All I can say is don't let it go...regardless of price, unless you have to.

Many things can change in 10 years. I can see us in a similar position within that timeframe.

My roots run deep. Guess it's a "farmboy" thing. Been at our place since 1991. As much as I hate it sometimes, it's "home." Like you, I worry how she can take care of things if I'm unable. This lawn has been mowed by ME...snow removed by ME...etc... for 27 years..

I was up-rooted 1986-1989 when our farms were sold. I was in my 20's then, without much say in the process.

Damned if I'm going to up-root again....


Best wishes, bearbait. Wish I had advice....but I don't because I have thought of similar possibilities for us.

 

[bearbait]

Thanks D2Cat for the ideas. My mom is in a nursing home, has been since my father passed a few years ago. She has Alzheimer's disease and it's getting to the point where I don't think she will know me much longer, one horrible disease. I try to go see her as often as I can but it's not always easy living this far away and having 2 dogs to care for. Wife and I have never had kids just lot's of fur baby's. I, we have a lot to think about but right now, we probably won't do anything until spring atleast. Thank you all for your ideas.

 

[bearbait]

Wow, these are all tough decisions, and some good advice.

We are both in our middle '50's and working. Still one kid in college. We now live on 6 acres of house/lawn and hilly woods.

I grew up on 500+ acres of dairy farm and woods, my wife on a city lot... The last 190 acres were sold in 1989, and I still miss it.....

We both have parent(s) an hour away, in the 80-ish range that own homes.

Good health all around, for the most part.....

My bride has not been a part of maintenance, ever.

bearbait - I have seen many of your property photos here with envy. All I can say is don't let it go...regardless of price, unless you have to.

Many things can change in 10 years. I can see us in a similar position within that timeframe.

My roots run deep. Guess it's a "farmboy" thing. Been at our place since 1991. As much as I hate it sometimes, it's "home." Like you, I worry how she can take care of things if I'm unable. This lawn has been mowed by ME...snow removed by ME...etc... for 27 years..

I was up-rooted 1986-1989 when our farms were sold. I was in my 20's then, without much say in the process.

Damned if I'm going to up-root again....


Best wishes, bearbait. Wish I had advice....but I don't because I have thought of similar possibilities for us.

Thanks RCW appreciate your thoughts, right now I have a tug of war going on inside my brain but like I said I probably won't do anything until spring. Even if I do move it'll have to be on the outskirts of town, this old country boy doesn't do well in the city.

 

[sheepfarmer]

I like D2's ideas of free floating discussions, I've been mentally redesigning parts of my house if stairs became impossible for example, but keeping up the rest of the 15 acres could get interesting. It is pretty easy around here to pay someone to plow drive, and mow lawn if one is not too picky about how it turns out. Keeping up the barns, pastures and fences is another matter.

I just helped a friend move out of her house after her husband died. The process was made easier because they had bought a condo in a retirement/ extended care facility a year or so beforehand, and moved a few things in. They used it to house visiting relatives. Her husband didn't really want to leave their old house, and they put in those stair chair elevator things, but since she has a heart condition, she could have died first. But at least both of them had a place to go if necessary, that for them felt attractive. So my thought is find a new place first if you can, and then put your present place on the market. Or not if both of you are still enjoying it. There is generally a waiting list for these condos, but it will depend on what you guys like.

 

[Lil Foot]

bearbait- I fully understand where you are coming from, and I sympathize.
(doing the caregiver thing for the wife's folks now)
But it would break just my heart to have to give up that incredibly beautiful piece of planet earth you have there.