Lost My Wife
- Thread starter RDR
- Start date
aquaforce
New member
Equipment
L245DT FEL, JD450 Track loader, 5' scrape blade&mower, 5x10 trailer, Dump truck
Mbarrette
Member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Kubota U55, Kubota SVL75, Kubota B3030, Kubota L6060, Kubota ZG21, Kubota L4760
Wildfire
Active member
Equipment
Kubota L5740 HSTC3 and a Kubota ZG222Z, 2013 BX25D,Custom Toyota fork lift.
Oh man. Kathy and I are so sorry to hear of your loss. Texting and using cell phones have become an epidemic and the ones that suffer are the innocent.
Even in our videos we try and mention not using cell phones while driving to try and bring awareness to the issue.
You will be in our prayers and thought.
God Bless.
Paul & Kathy.
Even in our videos we try and mention not using cell phones while driving to try and bring awareness to the issue.
You will be in our prayers and thought.
God Bless.
Paul & Kathy.
She might not have been texting. Seems my wife had someone behind her turning left. The girl couldn't see my wife was turning left. She shouldn't have passed at an intersection.
I don't know where the time goes. It wasn't fun trying to get the blackberries picked without my part time helper to talk to. With all of the rain I had 75 quarts instead of around 200. I'll be picking grapes soon. I'm still trying to get them tied, something that should have been done in March.
I had one tractor I had to jump to start since I hadn't started in about 3 months with all of the rain. It is finally starting to dry out and we missed most of the last rounds.
I keep plugging along only doing mainly things that have to be done. I'm still making calls to do with benefits. I've got some things to fax to settle with the girl's insurance. I have a lawyer after mine.
It is hard to know if finding out more about the circumstances helps or hurts, but in some cases maybe. My niece was killed in a head on collision a few weeks ago, along with two other kids in the front seat of the other car. Two in the back seat of that car were critically injured. One of the thoughts was my niece had fallen asleep and crossed the line, it was a two lane highway after midnight. But last week I found out that the kids that survived had finally regained consciousness and they remembered swerving to avoid a red pickup truck, which had apparently left the scene of the accident. After causing it. It is easier to be angry at this unknown driver. In the end it is just plain sad that they're all gone. So sorry, you will miss your wife so much every time you try to do one of these tasks. This weekend I was dusting a stack of horse magazines left in the bedroom the last time my niece visited here, which was a few years back, but couldn't throw them out. Take care,
In situations like these we have to focus on the blessings those brought to us, not on the "what if's". To stay on the "if only I would have..." just keeps digging up the pain. Be blessed by the remembrance of their positives.
A small book that has many good ideas: "ABC's of Healthy Grieving" by Harold Ivan Smith
A small book that has many good ideas: "ABC's of Healthy Grieving" by Harold Ivan Smith
I'm a new member here & sorry to read about your loss. I've been down that road and can tell it that it was only by the strength of God that I was able to effectively navigate that rough road. My late wife had a horseback riding accident in 1996 that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. After 6 weeks in coma and 6 months in-patient, she returned home needing 7x24 care. She lost vision in one eye, required a wheelchair & assistance with all transfers, had minimal use of her left arm & leg, needed assistance with all of her ADLs, and had no memory of the past 5 years - including our wedding and marriage. I hired a couple ladies to asssist on workdays and I handled nights and weekends. Through all this, she always had a kind word to say to everyone she met and enjoyed each day - especially going out to church or out to eat.
In 2010, she was diagnosed with a very aggressive, triple negative, soft-tissue, stage 3 breast cancer. Despite aggressive treatments, she went home to the Lord about a year later. Even through all this, she was a joy to be with and made the days of her treatment team with each visit. She was truly a blessed and wonderful woman.
Since that time, I've met a another wonderful sister in Christ and we are happily married. She is also very tolerant of my vehicle, tractor, and gun compulsion and doesn't roll her eyes too often.
In 2010, she was diagnosed with a very aggressive, triple negative, soft-tissue, stage 3 breast cancer. Despite aggressive treatments, she went home to the Lord about a year later. Even through all this, she was a joy to be with and made the days of her treatment team with each visit. She was truly a blessed and wonderful woman.
Since that time, I've met a another wonderful sister in Christ and we are happily married. She is also very tolerant of my vehicle, tractor, and gun compulsion and doesn't roll her eyes too often.
I'm thankful my wife was killed instantly and didn't suffer. In a way it would have been easier on me if she could have helped me get things in order here. I have a few more thing to do so my kids won't have a problem settling things when I am gone.
In the last 14 months I haven't been on forums much. I haven't been doing that much with tractors or gardening/farming.
I thought Christmas and New Year's would be easier the second time around being alone. I guess last year I was wrapped up in paperwork and phone calls. Things hadn't really sunk in yet.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and have a Happy New Year.
I thought Christmas and New Year's would be easier the second time around being alone. I guess last year I was wrapped up in paperwork and phone calls. Things hadn't really sunk in yet.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays and have a Happy New Year.
TripleR
Active member
Equipment
BX2200, BX2660, L5740 HSTC, M8540HDC and some other tractors and equipment
You have my ongoing and deep sympathy. Everyone is a bit different from my observation, some adapt better than others. I can't offer any useful advice as I've not dealt with this though I'm sure some other members can be of help.
The strength of humans to overcome all manner of tragedies has always amazed me and I am sure give time you will as well, just painful as heck in the interim.
The strength of humans to overcome all manner of tragedies has always amazed me and I am sure give time you will as well, just painful as heck in the interim.
You are right- everyone processes grief differently, and some of the cruelest comments, by people who mean well, revolve around getting back to normal, new normal, aren't they over it yet?, I know how you feel, and on and on. When we lost our son, two people, on seperate occasions, did two invaluable things- one told me to grieve well- meaning that however we grieve, make sure that we allow ourselves to grieve, don't hide from the pain, let the process happen- and the second was a friend who had lost a son (I didn't know this at the time), and he just hugged me. I felt the Holy Spirit in that hug, and I knew that something was different. I didn't know until later on that he did understand what we were going through, on his own level, and his desire was to comfort, not counsel, compare, or shift the focus on his loss. I've never been so touched by such a simple, speechless action.
Burt
New member
Equipment
L3700SU, box blade, 6 foot rhino blade, 1 bottom plow, 3 point receiver hitch.
RDR,
I'm another who will pray for your situation and for healing. We have a wonderful God who is above us, beside us and within us.
Texting is as much a danger as being drunk. When we were walking through the LA airport, a man beside us was texting on his phone, failed to see a temporary wall in the passageway and walked straight into it!
God bless you and your family and thank you for sharing this with the OTT group.
Burt
This morning I was in the ICU, with 2 friend, I held one while we watched the other ( his wife) die. Life has a way of reminding us that we are all mortal, some times in the most earth shattering ways. I wish you better days my friend
I'm so sorry brother for your friends and your loss skeets!
That is a terrible way to start 2016!
I just have no words.
Sorry
That is a terrible way to start 2016!
I just have no words.
Sorry
We lost our Step-Dad 2 days before Thanksgiving 2013, only 48 years old. Thyroid Cancer...
It took a while for it to really set-in with my Mom. But we pry her out of her new house to see the grand-kids anyway. Time has made it easier to bear the Holidays, but she was lost for quite a while. She has gained a lot of strength in this though. Shes doing things I could never imagine her doing! Like Sky-Diving!
Seeing a therapist worked well for her, being one herself I guess she took her own advice. Im bummed that my Son only had a few years to know him and my Daughter was born while he was in the SICU.
I cant fathom losing my Wife. Im only 34 but weve been together for 17 years in August. Hoping you can find some peace in your loss...
It took a while for it to really set-in with my Mom. But we pry her out of her new house to see the grand-kids anyway. Time has made it easier to bear the Holidays, but she was lost for quite a while. She has gained a lot of strength in this though. Shes doing things I could never imagine her doing! Like Sky-Diving!
Seeing a therapist worked well for her, being one herself I guess she took her own advice. Im bummed that my Son only had a few years to know him and my Daughter was born while he was in the SICU.
I cant fathom losing my Wife. Im only 34 but weve been together for 17 years in August. Hoping you can find some peace in your loss...