Hang down your head Tom Dooley…..Hand down your head and cry…...

[Runs With Scissors]

Ok fellas, well about 4 years ago I bought a Bad Ass, Big Ole’, Ass Rippin Stihl MS311 chainsaw!!!!

I was as “proud as punch”, and was going to be the “ The best wood cutting SOB since Paul Bunyon lost to that steam powered machine"…...

Well….as it turns out, embarrassingly, the MS311 at a svelt 15 lbs., is kicking my ass into the dirt, on a regular basis.

I also just ordered a “Butt Load” (about 70,000 pounds apparently) of Amish scrape wood for what turned out to be “pennies” , and I need to get it cut up, stacked and organized…..But that saw is kicking my ass…Bigly.


here is the 3rd pile




After about 2 hours, I am “Sweating like a Whore in Church” and am so tired, I worried that I am going to be "testing out” my “Competition Chains-saw Chaps” , and not in a good way neither….

Also, my “log cuts" range from 20 inchs to 14 inchs depending on how tired I am, instead of the required 16” MAXIMUM my stove will allow.

So I probably should sell the saw, and get a saw for a regualr mortal, but then it hit me…….

Why not design, and build a “jig” that will cut the pieces into equal length 16 inch pieces, AND help hold the saw…..

So I think to myself……"Yea, thats it……Just make something in your “spare time” to that will “magically” do this………..(dumbass)"

So off we go………….

So later that night, I sat “straight up” in bed, when it hit me…..Make a "big ass jig" that has “counter weights” and some replaceable “guide sticks”.

This would make the saw “weightless” and the guide sticks will “in theory” make each piece the magical 16 inchs…...

So off we go!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there I am walking around Home Depot making this thing up in my head as I go, just adding lumber and bolts to the cart, on the fly.

Here we are on the “first load"



Next I set up the “saw station"

and start “hacking and slashing”……Remember, no written plans, just 'designing as I go'





My “over-all plan” is some sort of U shaped thing to hold the “slabs” and several “stations, spaced apart 16 inchs with some sort of “lifting device"

So I decide I am going to bolt it together and make a simple U shaped cradle to hold the slabs






I can’t decide which length of bolt to use, but I and up with a “combo” of lengths based on my feeling at the time.

The only “hard and fast” rule in my head is that I want to in “No way, shape or form” want to be able to hit a bolt with the saw. So I plan to try and keep them out of the way




But I am still unsure of how/what to do about making the saw “weightless”….Hmmmmmm

Either way, I know the “replaceable guide sticks” have to be perfectly spaced.

So I see my SIL’s old bow and arrows hanging on the wall, and it turns out, "1 arrow width” will be perfect for the guide sticks






Keeping everything “plumb and square” turns out to be a nightmare for me….I had to go out and buy a “shit-load” of clamps, and levels to get everything lined up “perfectly"




Then I come up with the “Gallows” idea.

I start “notching out” some horizontal beams to accept the “vertical arms” and to that I will attach some pulleys and counter weights.

Here is my “test Gallow”, (note the counter weight….I guess you gotta use what you got)




Well the idea seeems to be “sound”, although it will need some “tweaking"

Here I am, holding my saw up with “1 finger"

 

[Runs With Scissors]

Here he is “floating” hahahahah




So now I am “Cooking with gas” and pretty fired up….all the ‘tests” have been working out ok, and I am “muttling along” keeping things very “square and plumb"

Turns out the 11.5 pound “draw bar” is perfect.



So now it’s "Go Time"…..I cut all the rest of the gallows, buy more pulleys and start bolting things together.






Here are “back guide sticks” and “cross beams"



I grab some 4”pvc, add some Quickcrete, and eye bolts



The next day it’s “Go Time"




BAM!!!!!!!!

SUCCESS……...



Here we are loading her up after a few rounds




I only got about 2 hours of cutting the first day,

But the next day, I was cutting and stacking all day…..A Yuge improvement.

The concept worked perfectly…The saw is “light as a feather” and the guide bars are working great!!!!!

The “sacrificial floor” is also working out well.

One other thing that is/was an "unintended consequence” was using the ropes to hold the saw at waist level when starting it…..sure makes it a breeze to yank that pull starter.


The End.

 

[Yooper]

Pretty cool and nailed it on the first try! How long does your chain last before it needs to be sharpened? Dried wood like that is usually a chain killer.

 

[skeets]

OUTSTANDING!! I burned slab wood like that for years, it is amazing how much work it saves. Alas all the little saw mills I use to get wood from are now gone, at least the ones I knew. A good score a good jig, ya done good. And if yinz got a video I would like to see it

 

[William1]

Kudos, I love it when a plan comes together.
I don't burn wood, just propane. But I do fell and cut up a few dozen 100' trees a year dead ones mostly), I have the big MTronic used on the trunks and larger limbs, then another day, loppers to remove the little branches to make working easier, then another day, a little 192 for dicing up the limbs.
Mostly, I leave the debris to rot once it is full diced and sliced, laying on the ground. No piles, nothing sticking up. Usually gone in a few years,

 

[D2Cat]

RWS, I read your post with great interest, wondering what you're coming up with next and how are you going to do it.

Then I realize the interest is because of similar crazy projects that years later I can't believe I came up with! Who said, "An inventor is a person with an idea and a pile of scrap"?

Good job, keep it up.

 

[Workerbee]

Nice job RWS. They say that burning wood warms you up 7 times. I think you managed to get that up to about 12!

 

[Old Machinist]

Nice setup!

Thread Title Related:

 

[Caden]

It doesn't matter what you are doing... I love reading these posts about what you come up with.

Building and changing on the fly is pretty much how my mind works.

Firewood Jig looks great.

 

[Runs With Scissors]

Pretty cool and nailed it on the first try! How long does your chain last before it needs to be sharpened? Dried wood like that is usually a chain killer.

So far, I get through about 1 of those bundles.

I have no idea if thats good or not, but so far thats about when I need a break anyway.

 

[Runs With Scissors]

Nice setup!

Thread Title Related:

Thats interesting.

I had no idea what the inspiration of the original Tom Dooley song was.

Many of my titles come from odd thoughts, or some sort of “loose connection”….

In this case, the support arms reminded me of a row of “hanging gallows” and that song popped into my head…..Now I can’t get it out of my head, damn it…….

 

[aaluck]

That is a great job @Runs With Scissors . Love when a "plan" comes together.

 

[Russell King]

….
In this case, the support arms reminded me of a row of “hanging gallows” and that song popped into my head…..Now I can’t get it out of my head, damn it…….

Here you go, this WILL work

 

[Paul Allwood]

Wow, great idea and glad it worked so well. Great story too. I can see a future book deal with a collection of your stories on here...."The Illustrated Adventures of RWS", or maybe "How to Run With Scissors and Survive - an Illustrated Guide".