Funny things AFTER you get married?

[Henro]

I met my wife outside Japan when we were both traveling, in 1970. We ended up getting married in 1972, after traveling back to Japan from Europe.

So it turns out that drinking soda with meals is not normal in her mind. I should drink beer. But I did not like beer or alcholic beverages at all. BUT wife knows best! LOL

So I learn to like beer. Then years later she complains I am drinking too much. But I don't drink heavy, I sip, and don't guzzle. Of course, saying I never drank alcohol until you suggested it, doesn't work.

So one day, probably twenty years ago, since I knew my wife enjoyed viewing wildlife, I saw some deer down the back, and she was in the kitchen. While our house is totally open in layout, the distance to the back windows was about 50 feet from where she was standing doing some cooking in the kitchen. So I call out "deer, deer!"

She says "Get your own beer, I am busy!"

 

[fried1765]

I met my wife outside Japan when we were both traveling, in 1970. We ended up getting married in 1972, after traveling back to Japan from Europe.

So it turns out that drinking soda with meals is not normal in her mind. I should drink beer. But I did not like beer or alcholic beverages at all. BUT wife knows best! LOL

So I learn to like beer. Then years later she complains I am drinking too much. But I don't drink heavy, I sip, and don't guzzle. Of course, saying I never drank alcohol until you suggested it, doesn't work.

So one day, probably twenty years ago, since I knew my wife enjoyed viewing wildlife, I saw some deer down the back, and she was in the kitchen. While our house is totally open in layout, the distance to the back windows was about 50 feet from where she was standing doing some cooking in the kitchen. So I call out "deer, deer!"

She says "Get your own beer, I am busy!"

Asahi.........!
(Ah...sigh)

 

[CAPT Seabee]

I was active duty Navy LT early in my career. We attended a wedding at the Admiral Kidd Club in San Diego. Nice wedding. Groomsmen in dress with swords. Bride gets the butt whack with the sword on the way out. Fabulous reception. I ate, drank, and then felt the pressure. I followed the crowd to the restrooms, went into a stall, and saw a tampon dispenser on the bulkhead (wall). Couldn't escape. Other women left and I completed my mission and was able to duck out undiscovered. Back to the table and wife and other women head as a group to the restrooms. Ten minutes later, she's back yelling "You were in the Women's Room. Nobody stinks like you do!" Busted. One of several events that got me tagged with a nickname for a while: Tox(ic).

 

[NCL4701]

My wife and I married six months after we met so I didn’t exactly get to know her family well before we married. The first time I met her parents at their home, her father, who was a rather odd guy, was loudly and profanely bemoaning the fact that his high mileage Ford LTD was broken down in the yard and was going to have to be towed to be fixed for some exorbitant amount of money he probably didn’t have. Her mother, brother, and sister (none of whom I’d ever met before) were there listening to this in silence like it was a normal thing. He either didn’t know I was there (it was a single wide trailer so not likely) or didn’t care (much more likely). My wife (then girlfriend) was a little embarrassed but had warned me about him so it wasn’t exactly unexpected. I was 22 and wasn’t used to this sort of behavior. My family drove beaters too, but when they broke we just fixed them as an expected part of beater operation.

After listening to his railing for a bit, it became pretty clear the thermostat was stuck closed, so being the nice, helpful guy I was back then I waited for him to pause for a breath and said the first thing I ever said to him, “Sounds like the thermostat’s stuck. Instead of bitching about it why don’t you just replace it?” He finally acknowledged my presence with his first words to me ever, “If you’re so @$&# smart why don’t you fix it?”

I had a pretty well stocked tool chest in the trunk of my old Caprice (required equipment for that car) so I said, “Sure. Let’s go take a look at it.” I don’t think the lot of them, including my then girlfriend, would have been any more shocked if I’d unzipped my fly and taken a leak in the middle of the living room.

He and I walked out to the yard, confirmed the thermostat was stuck and also that it had a bad oil leak at the rocker arm cover, really soft upper radiator hose, and he couldn’t recall when he last changed the oil or air filter. One trip to the auto parts store and a couple hours later it was all fixed. Turned out he had absolutely zero mechanical skills. We talked like normal people while I worked and he watched in amazement at my display of rudimentary maintenance skills. They all acted like I’d performed a miracle both for fixing the car and getting him to act like a normal human for a few hours. So that’s what my wife grew up with.

A few months after we were married, the Caprice needed front brakes. Of course I pulled the wheels off, took the rotors to be turned, changed the pads, etc. No big deal. A couple weeks later I noticed wife was making some pretty creative excuses to avoid riding in the Caprice. Asked her if there was a problem. She said, “I’m NEVER riding in that car again. You took the WHEELS off. Who takes off their own wheels??? What if they fall off?” Pointed out I’d been driving it to work and back for two weeks. That and I’d done at least dozens of brake jobs, which ain’t exactly rocket science on a 1976 Caprice. She just repeated, “Who the hell takes off their own wheels??? You’re crazy!!”

She still thinks I’m crazy but now she’ll ride in a car after I’ve done a brake job on it.

 

[Fordtech86]

My wife and I married six months after we met so I didn’t exactly get to know her family well before we married. The first time I met her parents at their home, her father, who was a rather odd guy, was loudly and profanely bemoaning the fact that his high mileage Ford LTD was broken down in the yard and was going to have to be towed to be fixed for some exorbitant amount of money he probably didn’t have. Her mother, brother, and sister (none of whom I’d ever met before) were there listening to this in silence like it was a normal thing. He either didn’t know I was there (it was a single wide trailer so not likely) or didn’t care (much more likely). My wife (then girlfriend) was a little embarrassed but had warned me about him so it wasn’t exactly unexpected. I was 22 and wasn’t used to this sort of behavior. My family drove beaters too, but when they broke we just fixed them as an expected part of beater operation.

After listening to his railing for a bit, it became pretty clear the thermostat was stuck closed, so being the nice, helpful guy I was back then I waited for him to pause for a breath and said the first thing I ever said to him, “Sounds like the thermostat’s stuck. Instead of bitching about it why don’t you just replace it?” He finally acknowledged my presence with his first words to me ever, “If you’re so @$&# smart why don’t you fix it?”

I had a pretty well stocked tool chest in the trunk of my old Caprice (required equipment for that car) so I said, “Sure. Let’s go take a look at it.” I don’t think the lot of them, including my then girlfriend, would have been any more shocked if I’d unzipped my fly and taken a leak in the middle of the living room.

He and I walked out to the yard, confirmed the thermostat was stuck and also that it had a bad oil leak at the rocker arm cover, really soft upper radiator hose, and he couldn’t recall when he last changed the oil or air filter. One trip to the auto parts store and a couple hours later it was all fixed. Turned out he had absolutely zero mechanical skills. We talked like normal people while I worked and he watched in amazement at my display of rudimentary maintenance skills. They all acted like I’d performed a miracle both for fixing the car and getting him to act like a normal human for a few hours. So that’s what my wife grew up with.

A few months after we were married, the Caprice needed front brakes. Of course I pulled the wheels off, took the rotors to be turned, changed the pads, etc. No big deal. A couple weeks later I noticed wife was making some pretty creative excuses to avoid riding in the Caprice. Asked her if there was a problem. She said, “I’m NEVER riding in that car again. You took the WHEELS off. Who takes off their own wheels??? What if they fall off?” Pointed out I’d been driving it to work and back for two weeks. That and I’d done at least dozens of brake jobs, which ain’t exactly rocket science on a 1976 Caprice. She just repeated, “Who the hell takes off their own wheels??? You’re crazy!!”

She still thinks I’m crazy but now she’ll ride in a car after I’ve done a brake job on it.

Reminds me a bit of my wife and I she came from a family somewhat like that. My father in law still brings up this story almost everytime we get together… pretext-my wife and I met at a restaurant that we both worked at after high school, I was the cook and she was a waitress…anyways, her parents took us out to dinner one night, we went to their favorite steak house, it was one where they had the pits out in the dining area where you could cook your own if you wanted, which I did…standing there by the fire cooking and she asks me if I’m sure that I will know when it’s done…I just said really? . She says I’ll just leave you alone, went back to the table and tells her dad that she must have asked a stupid question…I got back to the table and he says, so I hear my daughter asked you a stupid question…I said which one?

he always says that’s when he knew for sure I was going to fit right in

 

[KKBL]

I met my wife outside Japan when we were both traveling, in 1970. We ended up getting married in 1972, after traveling back to Japan from Europe.

So it turns out that drinking soda with meals is not normal in her mind. I should drink beer. But I did not like beer or alcholic beverages at all. BUT wife knows best! LOL

So I learn to like beer. Then years later she complains I am drinking too much. But I don't drink heavy, I sip, and don't guzzle. Of course, saying I never drank alcohol until you suggested it, doesn't work.

So one day, probably twenty years ago, since I knew my wife enjoyed viewing wildlife, I saw some deer down the back, and she was in the kitchen. While our house is totally open in layout, the distance to the back windows was about 50 feet from where she was standing doing some cooking in the kitchen. So I call out "deer, deer!"

She says "Get your own beer, I am busy!"

Years ago my wife was driving us home after a long day of travailing, and probably not paying her best attention on a dark curvy road. I spotted half a dozen deer starting to cross the road in front us and loudly said "deer deer! deer!!"
She yelled "What!!!!" - before she saw them.
Fortunately no contact with any, and we still have a good laugh every time we see any along the road.

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

I was with my then GF, now wife (I was 13 years older than her), we were at a pre Xmas get together at her parents house, and her younger sister was in town with her, 10 year older than her boyfriend, , and he was there to ask her mom and dad for permission to marry her.
Well it was a long drawn out question and answer session and grilling, and I'm talking every question in the book!
They were not thrilled with the age difference!
End of the night they still had reservations, but it was really her choice, so they said ok.

I had already asked my GF to get married, but we hadn't announced it yet.
The day after Xmas went to pick out our wedding rings, we had visited several times already, and had a good idea what we wanted, so we picked them out and they had an in house jeweler that could do the set and sizing right there and then so we did it!
We went back to the parents to announce that we too were getting married, I was ready to be grilled and figured our age differance was going to get brought up too!

My wife wanted to tell her mom and dad first and then tell everyone else, (the whole family was there), so she asked her mom and dad to come into the front room, her younger sister walked in and said hey why do you have you hand in your pocket and blew the whole thing, her parents were thrilled, and her dad turned to me and said "welcome to the insanity" with a huge smile, they liked me.

Her sisters marriage lasted 6 months, he was a grade A abusive and drunk idiot!
We're still married 13 (lucky) years later!
Her sister did manage to meet and marry a much nicer guy a couple years later, crazy part is asked us permission to get married on the same date as our anniversary, and we both said yes!

 

[savannasanders]

The funny things after getting married are endless! There are those moments when we try to have a serious discussion, but it turns into a full-blown laughter fest for no apparent reason. It's amazing how laughter becomes such an integral part of our everyday life together. Oh, by the way, if you need any help with assignments or looking for accurate answers, check out this website. They've got some awesome solutions that can make dealing with those tough tasks a lot easier.

 

[DaveFromMi]

I shut the hot water off while she was in the shower a couple of times. One time, I emptied a baby powder container over the shower door. She was a white mess.
One morning, she put a life like rubber snake in the shower. I saw it first thing in the morning and shot it in the head with a pellet gun.

 

[Lil Foot]

Soon after we were married, my wife & I were watching tv, and an item came on celebrating Joan Collins' 70th birthday. She looked stunning; hair, makeup, & jewelry perfect, and was wearing a skin tight, revealing outfit that showed several fathoms of cleavage.

My wife said "I hope I look that good when I'm 70."

Mouth engaged, but brain definitely not engaged, I said " I wish you looked that good now!"

That comment did not go over well at all then, but we can laugh about it now.