Daily Chuckle

[DustyRusty]

The dinner party!

My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some we hadn't seen for quite a while, and everyone was encouraged to bring their children as well.
All during dinner, my wife's best friend's four-year-old stared at me sitting across the table from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring at me.
I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, patted my hair in place but nothing stopped her from staring.
I tried my best to just ignore her but finally, it was too much.
I finally asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had also noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response .............
The little girl said, "I'm just waiting to see how you drink like a fish."

 

[mike0000]

Three candidates for a secret government job position are up for interview.
Candidate one is called in for his interview.
The interviewer tells the man, “Your wife is in the next room here’s a gun, prove your loyalty and go shoot her and the lob is yours”
Candidate one refuses stating, he could never do that, she’s the woman he loves.
He is told to leave and send in candidate two.
Candidate two enters the room and is handed the gun and told the same thing,
your wife’s in the next room, use the gun to prove your loyalty and the job is yours.
Candidate two refuses stating she’s the mother of my children, I could never do that.
He too is told to leave and send in candidate number three.
Three inters and is handed the gun and given the same instructions.
Three takes the gun to the room his wife is in and closes the door.
From the room multiple gunshots are heard, Boom,Boom,Boom, then a terrible commotion with shouts, screams and furniture breaking followed by silence.
The interviewer rushes into the room yelling what have you done!
Candidate three says, some fool put blanks in the gun, I had to strangle her.

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Daren Todd]

Guys try to avoid the political posts. I might agree with you. But this isn't the place for it.

I really enjoy this thread and would hate to see it locked.

 

[i7win7]

You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender.
For example...

1) Ziploc Bags-
They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers-
They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire-
Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon-
Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges-
Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page-
Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) Subway-
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass-
Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer-
Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10) Remote Control-
Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this-it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

 

[i7win7]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Bmyers]

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed closely by Batman???

Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Na Na, Baatmaaan!

 

[sagor]

View attachment 75445

Fact check these "fake" posts. While this could be true if the windmill was placed where there was no wind. In normal wind generation locations, it pays back the energy costs in about 3 years:

Fact Check-Meme claiming that wind turbines are inefficient misquotes expert

A meme wrongly saying that wind turbines will never generate as much energy as was used to construct them misquotes a passage from an essay written by scientist David Hughes.

www.reuters.com

 

[Magicman]

 

[dlsmith]

View attachment 75447

You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Hillary.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

Have a feeling the neighbors will welcome me with open arms

 

[Bmyers]

You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with Hillary.

You seem to not realize that the meme thread is for fun.