Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

 

[Newlyme]

The fact that there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers.

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

Is it just me or does deer season keep getting longer?

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

Responsible Texan

I saw a fundamentalist Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was an illegal Hispanic drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was strapped to his back.

If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan, I informed the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4 p.m., both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

Brad lives in California. He was sick of the world, of Covid-19, Russian belligerence, China, global warming, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station, started the car and revved it to a slow idle.
Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in and pulled Brad from the car.
A little sip of water, and surprisingly, he was in perfect condition but his Tesla had a dead battery.

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Magicman]

THE HYPNOTIST

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center. Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience". The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations"

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. .. .."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.

Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, the the chain broke, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"CRAP!" yelled the hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center and Claude was never invited back to entertain.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

I never finish anything....
I have a Black Belt
in Partial Arts.

 

[lynnmor]

Brad lives in California.

started the car and revved it to a slow idle.

Tesla had a dead battery.

I guess only the California Tesla's can be idled?