Daily Chuckle

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

Speaking of masks, there was a lady who wrote a letter to the editor recently telling the mask complainers to "suck it up" , as the bra she wears daily is way more uncomfortable than a mask, and another friend sent an email saying that people with big noses are NOT excused from wearing masks, because he still wears underwear.

 

[Magicman]

 

[D2Cat]

 

[bearbait]

No paper, no problem

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Daren Todd]

Mr K might need to have a talk with the advertisers.

 

[Magicman]

Question: What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

Answer: Taste..

 

[Magicman]

Don't forget to allow your turkey time to chill in the sink before baking.

 

[xrocketengineer]

 

[ayak]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

Hillbilly Mirror

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father so he hung it in the barn and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn so one day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror and as she looked into the glass she fumed,

"So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' around with."

 

[ayak]

 

[Magicman]

A Mormon was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London, to Melbourne, Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Aussie then quickly handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

 

[Magicman]

A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to?"

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]