Daily Chuckle

shootem604

Member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L245DT with Kubota (Arps Model 22) FEL and Kubota B/L4520B (Woods 650) BH
Apr 23, 2018
875
18
18
British Columbia
Yep, keep your lefties! We have more than enough here already. Don't you have a whole state just for these types; commiefornia or something like that?
 

Daren Todd

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
10,157
6,595
113
Vilonia, Arkansas
Heard the same joke, but with a German Shepherd, Lab and a Cat. I think the Cat fits the punch line a lot better, as that is what cats actually think....
Our mini dachshund acted the same way. If my wife had something, he wanted it. They used to fight over her chair, pillow, and blanket :D:D
 

sheepfarmer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3560, B2650, Gator, Ingersoll mower
Nov 14, 2014
4,449
677
113
MidMichigan
Breaking News:

"Denmark says they plan to loan Greenland to Canada for a while just to f#$% with Trump"
 

Orangeglow

Active member

Equipment
2015 BX2370
Jun 19, 2014
332
152
43
Prescott, Ontario
*An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her
Father cursed her heavily. *
*'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not
even a line? *
*Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother
through?'*

* The girl, crying, replied, Dad... I became a prostitute.' 'Ye what!? Get
out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic
family.' 'OK, Dad... as ye wish. I only came back to give mum this
luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a 5 million
savings certificate. ****65279;***65279;

*For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling
new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a
membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation
for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.' ****65279;

* 'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad. Girl, crying again, 'A
prostitute, Daddy!.' *
*'Oh! My goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! Come here and give yer***65279;
old Dad a hug! I thought ye said a **Protestant**!!*
 

sheepfarmer

Well-known member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3560, B2650, Gator, Ingersoll mower
Nov 14, 2014
4,449
677
113
MidMichigan
:confused:

I thought I heard that he was going to trade Greenland for Puerto Rico?
Not heard that one. In actuality he tried to buy Greenland from Denmark, and when they declined to sell he cancelled his visit to Denmark and snubbed their government. Yes really. Ever the diplomat. Denmark is/was an ally. Not sure what he was going to do for money considering the national debt.
 

Fordtech86

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
L3200
Aug 7, 2018
4,976
5,917
113
Pineville,LA
Truck? We don’t need no stinking truck

Seen this today, that’s a refrigerator loaded in the trunk of the car lol



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Newlyme

Active member
Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
May 27, 2015
637
74
28
Nelson Ohio USA
Not heard that one.......
....... Not sure what he was going to do for money considering the national debt.
Check NBC News........Trade Puerto Rico for Greenland....
..........Land Contract! :D
 

bird dogger

Well-known member
Vendor Member

Equipment
Kubota B2650 and lots of other equipment
Feb 24, 2019
1,601
1,459
113
North Dakota
You can alter this one to have it apply to either sex but I'll tell it in it's original form as was told to me. Gentlemen, you may not want to tell this to your wives late at night! :D

Why is a woman's brain the size of a bean in the morning?...…...Because it swells up overnight!
 

Orangeglow

Active member

Equipment
2015 BX2370
Jun 19, 2014
332
152
43
Prescott, Ontario
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he asked, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"

"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"

"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I drownded. Sure did save my life."

"And that was when he hurt his leg?"

"Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."

"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"

"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat all at once!"
 

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,560
3,312
113
SW Pa
I went to the gas station to get a drink and as I walk up, I noticed a police officer watching a woman who was smoking while pumping her gas.. I saw her and thought, is this lady stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the officer standing RIGHT there.. But anyways, I minded my own business and went in for a energy drink and water...
As I was paying for my drink, I heard someone screaming!! Like I’m talking violent death screams!! I looked up and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!! She was swinging her arm, running around going nuts!! When I got my drinks and walked out the door the officer had the woman on the ground and he was putting the fire out!! Then he put handcuffs on her and threw her in the police car.. I was thinking, arrested?? Shouldn’t she be in an ambulance, not a police car?? And being the nosy person I am, I asked the police what they were arresting her for.. The officer looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!! :D
 

Lil Foot

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
May 19, 2011
7,519
2,553
113
Peoria, AZ
Puts me in mind of a true story related to me by an instructor at the Phoenix Fire Academy. He was a Battalion Chief on a trip to Flagstaff, doing some training classes.
He stopped in the Great America gas station (it's huge) and noticed a guy putting gas in an old Chevy pickup. The guy was trying to strike a match to look down the filler neck to see the level of gas. The Chief screamed for the guy to stop, ran over and explained how dangerous it was to use a match while fueling with gasoline. The guy was quite embarrassed and contrite, and said he just wasn't thinking. He thanked the Chief profusely, who went back to his vehicle. As the Chief got back to his vehicle, he looked back in time to see the guy light a lighter to look down the filler neck. The guy caught fire, pulled the nozzle out, (which was latched on) sprayed several vehicles & pumps, and ran away. About a dozen vehicles and a good portion of the station burned.
Ya can't fix stupid.
 

cliffboyer

Active member

Equipment
L3301 w/LA525 loader, G5200 mower w/RC48 deck, Kawasaki 610 Mule, DR mower
Nov 30, 2017
242
49
28
Southern IL
Truck? We don’t need no stinking truck

Seen this today, that’s a refrigerator loaded in the trunk of the car lol



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Surprised car is not squatting more than it appears.
 

RCW

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Apr 28, 2013
9,155
5,246
113
Chenango County, NY
Surprised car is not squatting more than it appears.
That's the 3/4 ton model....Chrysler 200 HD...:eek::D

Seriously, I think the 200 is one of the perennial models on Fiat-Chrysler's long list of vehicles with poor customer satisfaction, along with a couple Jeep and Fiat-badged cars. I think the RAM trucks have redeemed themselves in recent years, and folks are loyal to them. Especially the Cummins diesel guys.
 
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