Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
I think caitlyn is in this one, somewhere, and it ain't even halloween, yet...
https://youtu.be/ctsncypdVJE
https://youtu.be/ctsncypdVJE
85Hokie
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I think caitlyn is in this one, somewhere, and it ain't even halloween, yet...
https://youtu.be/ctsncypdVJE
dayuuuuuummmmmmmm.....talk about laughing out loud....
now at least at 5:06.....at least she has her clothes on.....and I aint gonna say to her - nice piece!!!!
funny - I am glad that I dont see this at my local wally world !!! but then again I am sure they are there somewhere!
Newlyme
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ShaunBlake
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Whoever hacked that vid did a superb job! Used English words that sounded a bit like the spoken words. Very amusing, but like skeets, it makes me depressed. Fortunately Congress is passing bills to curtail and undo president Osama's egregious abuses of authority, but it's like herding cats.
Daren Todd
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I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Daren Todd
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Blonde Logic
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!
PHPaul
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I've seen that video used on 3 or 4 different subjects now, and it never fails to leave me rolling on the floor laughing so hard I can't breathe.
Daren Todd
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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Went in for my annual proctology exam. As the doc finished up and left, the nurse came in and said those dreaded words that no man wants to here. She said "who was that!!!!"
Daren Todd
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Here's some rough nights, and three reasons why you need to quit drinking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0chZbltGmJQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0chZbltGmJQ
PHPaul
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One of them hits a little close to home. I'll take the Fifth on which one...Here's some rough nights, and three reasons why you need to quit drinking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0chZbltGmJQ
85Hokie
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One of them hits a little close to home. I'll take the Fifth on which one...
or the one where the parachute is a pair of undies?
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, "I'd like some raisin bread, please." She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.
As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.
After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet. Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.
After many trips, she is tired, irritated and thinking she is really going to have to try the raisin bread herself. Once again she is up the ladder retrieving a loaf of raisin bread for another male customer. She stops and fumes, glaring at the men below. She notices an elderly man standing among the crowd of males looking up at her who hasn't placed an order yet. Thinking to save herself another trip up and down the ladder, she yells at the elderly man, "Is yours raisin, too?" "No," croaked the old man, "but it's a quiverin'..."
Daren Todd
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Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him " tomorrow morning, I expect a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning his wife looked out the window to find a box...gift wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale........ Bob has been missing since Friday!!!
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Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Daren Todd
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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation:
1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate.
2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence.
6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence.
7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate.
2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"
3. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."
4. When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.
5. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence.
6. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence.
7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
8. Repeat steps 5 through 8 until he understands that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.