Daily Chuckle

[D2Cat]

A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.

She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE".

Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".

She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. "
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember.
Try as he might, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[D2Cat]

One morning a husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decided to take the boat out and go for a ride. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and began to read her book.


A short time later, along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” said the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” he said and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think

 

[Henro]

One morning a husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decided to take the boat out and go for a ride. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and began to read her book.


A short time later, along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” said the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” he said and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think

What color wasn’t her hair?

 

[Magicman]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[chim]

View attachment 130552

I played on one exactly like that in the small playground across the street from my grandparents' house. They also had a really tall (stainless?) sliding board that we'd sit on waxed paper to go faster. There was a heavy merry-go-round made of 1-1/2" or so pipe with maybe eight 2x10 seats.. Real monster with grease zerks that actually got lubed. Tall frame for the wooden swings that were known to try to KO a kid from time to time. We survived!