Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[ctfjr]

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Just how I felt when my son fixed my crappy 'punch downs' on my ethernet lines last night!

 

[D2Cat]

 

[MilkyWay]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the p is silent.

Someone asked me "where did your wife go hunting?" And I said "Alaska".
He said "never mind, I'll ask her myself."

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

 

[D2Cat]

The most expensive vehicle to operate in 2023

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[skeets]

 

[Daren Todd]

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Had a buddy travel from Vermont to go hunting in New York. Didn't see a thing all day. I sent him a picture of a 4 pointer that was in the road about 100ft from me and the pooch with a message saying "took this 10 minutes ago"

He texted me back the middle finger

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[xrocketengineer]

View attachment 115714

Real story. One of my rocket ranch coworkers would religiously go "back home" in upstate NY every year to hunt deer. He had never been able to even see one in all those years. Anyway, he convinced another coworker (non hunter) to make the pilgrimage with him one year. The day before the hunt, he provided the novice with all kinds of advice including to take a shower with no soap before the hunt to avoid any human scents that would spook the deer.
The day of the hunt, they decided to split up for a better chance to find a deer. After a while, the novice had the urge to take a dump. He realized that would screw up his chances of finding a dear but when you have to go, you have to go. So, next to a tree he relieved himself.
As he walked away feeling relieved, he heard a sound behind him. As he turned around he found a deer smelling his fresh deed. He shot the deer and killed it on his first outing!
The other "hunter" was livid. All the years and techniques that he had tried to get a deer never worked and this guy gets one right off the bat.
When they returned to Florida and we heard the story, we made fun of the "expert hunter" about the whole episode and we told him that his problem was that he had been using the wrong bait all along.
That was another one of his many (mis)adventures like the time when he got chased by a bull while in a boat with his wife. And the boat ran aground....

 

[Magicman]

 

[NCL4701]

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Reminds me of a deer hunt with my son back when he was in college. He came home one weekend to hunt so we were sitting in a 2 man elevated stand back to back Saturday evening, him with a 30-06 and me with a .308. We sat there in dead silence like good hunters do, didn’t see anything but squirrels. Got to be dark so it was time to head out.

He was unloading the 30-06 so he could lower it down on the rope we kept up in the stand but there was only one up there so he mentioned we have two guns but only one rope. I told him either climb down and I’ll lower the guns to you one at a time (seemed obvious to me) or if you really want two ropes, that one is long enough you could cut it in half and have two adequate ropes. He said he didn’t have anything to cut it with and then it came out he had pawned a $95.00 very nice pocket knife he’d had for years for something like $10. I thought that was about the dumbest thing I’d heard since I don’t know when and let him know it. He said it was none of my business, which I vehemently disagreed with since he was still on my payroll. Being we were both mature adults, we went to hollering at each other like a couple of pissed off donkeys for the next 20 minutes or so. It pretty much ended with my shouting at him from about 6” away it was a damn good thing the stand was so small and our guns were so long. He asked why. Told him because we didn’t have enough room to get our rifles turned around on each other. We finally found something agreed on so we decided to climb down and walk home.

As he was about to climb down told him to hold up because it kind of looked like there was something big moving near the stand and ill as I was with him, didn’t really want him to climb down to meet a bear in the dark. Checked it out with the flashlight and saw at least a half dozen deer peacefully grazing right below us, paying us no mind whatsoever.

Sometimes I think you might just as well piss out the window if you need to and make as much noise as you want. At least the deer on our place seem to do what they’re going to do regardless.

 

[woodman55]

 

[Old_Paint]

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Amen

To those that have, do, and will serve, thank you.

All gave some, some gave all.

 

[Henro]

Amen

To those that have, do, and will serve, thank you.

All gave some, some gave all.

I'm a vet and spent a year in South East Asia back in the Vietnam days...

I'm missing the connection related to a poppy. When I hear poppy I think of the poppy fields in Afghanistan...and drugs like heroin, opium and so on.

Where did I go wrong in life???

I know this is the daily chuckle thread, but can't help myself asking a rather off topic question...sorry...

 

[OntheRidge]

I'm a vet and spent a year in South East Asia back in the Vietnam days...

I'm missing the connection related to a poppy. When I hear poppy I think of the poppy fields in Afghanistan...and drugs like heroin, opium and so on.

Where did I go wrong in life???

I know this is the daily chuckle thread, but can't help myself asking a rather off topic question...sorry...

National Poppy Day supports veterans, honors the fallen

American Legion Family leads effort to keep all who served front and center heading into Memorial Day weekend.

www.legion.org

 

[Henro]

National Poppy Day supports veterans, honors the fallen

American Legion Family leads effort to keep all who served front and center heading into Memorial Day weekend.

www.legion.org

Thank you for posting that.

I had no idea...couldn't figure out the original post with the image, which I honestly did not like the language, but I get the point now.

Still don't see any humor in it though...