Daily Chuckle
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armylifer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
You still did better than average. The average was 73%. I got 78%.Being larger than the rest I was always on the dumb end of the bailer,, and I only got 81% on the cars
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
That must be off-road. Road is probably both.
Just drove to/from Orlando - some places diesel was almost $1/gal higher than reg gas.
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A blonde lady had her drafty old windows replaced with new energy efficient vinyl windows. Each month she got a bill in the mail for the window replacement job and promptly threw it away. This went on for a year until the manager of the window company called her. And he asked, "Ms. Why have you not paid for the windows? You have not even made a partial payment and we will be forced to turn this over to a collection agency soon. Maybe we can work this out. Are the windows defective in any way?" "No", she replied. "Was the work completed to your satisfaction?" "I think they did a wonderfull job" the woman replied. "Is money an issue? "Why no, my father died last year and left me a small fortune." "Well then why haven't you paid for the windows?" "I just don't understand" the woman said. "What don't you understand miss?" "Well" she said, "that fancy pants smooth talking salesman told me that these windows would pay for themselves in one year..... Well ??"
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an
anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA ..
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to
climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl
that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to
the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told
him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how
she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with
great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he
would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry
woman demanded,"What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well,
I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest
Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth
timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility.
I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care they turned me down."
anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA ..
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to
climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl
that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to
the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told
him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how
she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with
great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he
would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry
woman demanded,"What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well,
I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest
Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth
timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility.
I'm sorry, but due to Obama Care they turned me down."
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
bmblank
Well-known member
Equipment
2020 L3901HST, LA525 Loader, 66" Q/A Bucket, PFL2042 Forks, Meteor SB68PT Blower
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
RCW
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
Not funny, because the animal died, but it does happen….
Someone popped a deer and it ended up in the end of our driveway, just before I got home from work.
Where I come from, we used to eat roadkill deer on occasion. (translation, when possible and prudent)
Told the Mrs. we had dinner delivered tonight……it's still warm...
Never thought. She'd never seen a freshly dead deer up close.
As much as she likes venison, she didn’t see the humor…..
Trust me....she REALLY didn't see the humor......
Someone popped a deer and it ended up in the end of our driveway, just before I got home from work.
Where I come from, we used to eat roadkill deer on occasion. (translation, when possible and prudent)
Told the Mrs. we had dinner delivered tonight……it's still warm...
Never thought. She'd never seen a freshly dead deer up close.
As much as she likes venison, she didn’t see the humor…..
Trust me....she REALLY didn't see the humor......
Last edited:
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Warming the couch tonightNot funny, because the animal died, but it does happen….
Someone popped a deer and it ended up in the end of our driveway, just before I got home from work.
Where I come from, we used to eat roadkill deer on occasion. (translation, when possible and prudent)
Told the Mrs. we had dinner delivered tonight……it's still warm...
Never thought. She'd never seen a freshly dead deer up close.
As much as she likes venison, she didn’t see the humor…..
Trust me....she REALLY didn't see the humor......
RCW
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX2360, FEL, MMM, BX2750D snowblower. 1953 Minneapolis Moline ZAU
No, not that far....but close....Warming the couch tonight
When your spouse is 50% Italian and 50% Irish, it proves that genetics works....my 100% Redneck knows to close mouth by 100%......
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
Then a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right."
Then a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right."