Daily Chuckle

[Daren Todd]

Took them over a year to figure this out

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Diydave]

At the Bar

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says,

"Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door,
Back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on... It doesn't matter to me. I just love it."

His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you Federal or state ?"

 

[Lil Foot]

The most interesting man in the world:

 

[ShaunBlake]

The most interesting man in the world:

ROFL... nearly fell off my chair trying to reply. <sob>

 

[Daren Todd]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[ShaunBlake]

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Excellent!

Too bad it follows "The most interesting man in the world"

 

[ShaunBlake]

Okay, I'm frustrated trying to find the NSFW Daily Chuckle thread, so I'm posting this here. I apologize if it offends, and hope the admins will move it rather than delete it... and dearly hope they don't ban me! However, this was a serious matter, and the ultimate outcome is somewhat of a mystery, so perhaps you can figure it out:


There were four churches and a synagogue in a small Ohio town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with squirrels.


The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined the squirrels were pre-destined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.


At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.


The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.


But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the Church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.


Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue, but it's rumored that they took one squirrel and circumcised him, and they haven't seen a squirrel on their property since.

 

[olthumpa]

Oldie but a goodie Shaun.
LMAO

 

[Diydave]

I too, have one for the NSFW thread, but I, too, can't find it. Anyway, this video contains politics, and raunchy humor. I urge you not to click on it, if you are thin skinned, or prudish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLsMLqusd-Q

 

[Daren Todd]

My friend is so smart. He told me an onion is the only food that will make you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face

Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you yell "shotgun" just before you board a plane

The clear history button on your computer has saved more lives then a paramedic

I didn't sleep very well last night, so I put monster energy drinks in my coffee. I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car!!!

Ever notice that the colors Red, white, and Blue represent freedom till you see them flashing in your rear view mirror.

I was just sitting around, doing nothing, when I was arrested for impersonating the president

Old people started poking me at weddings saying "your next!!". So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

How do you make a girl furious? Take her picture, DON'T show it to her

Eventually the entire written English language is gonna be taken over by emoticons. Teen age girls are gonna bring back Egyptian hieroglyphics

 

[ShaunBlake]

Oldie but a goodie Shaun.
LMAO

What? Old?!! Sheesh! I thought I was the oldest guy on here after cerlawson and I hadn't heard it before. <blush> Or maybe I did but my "all-timers" made everything new again.

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

I don't want to be a judge, I'm lousy at it.
So if I get one complaint from anyone on a post it's gone, and if I feel it's too "over the top", the poster will get a warning and trust me, warnings are not good!!!!

 

[sawmill]

I no longer have a problem with road rage.

 

[Daren Todd]

I no longer have a problem with road rage.

I want one

 

[Lil Foot]

I no longer have a problem with road rage.

I want one too, but I also have a fondness for this one.

 

[85Hokie]

I want one

Tell ya what Daren - let's split one, I'll take the front half and you can have the back half! I will even let you do the cutting!

 

[Daren Todd]

Tell ya what Daren - let's split one, I'll take the front half and you can have the back half! I will even let you do the cutting!

Some how, I think Imy getting the short end of the stick on that one you gonna mount the to the B or the BX

 

[skeets]

Geeeezzzz and I thought I was the only sick puppy in here, you guys got me beat

 

[85Hokie]

Some how, I think Imy getting the short end of the stick on that one you gonna mount the to the B or the BX

I was being a little "selfish" - lets split in down the wheel centerline.....mmmmm......

you think it will mount to the ROPS?

 

[Daren Todd]

I was being a little "selfish" - lets split in down the wheel centerline.....mmmmm......

you think it will mount to the ROPS?

Absolutely when there is a will, there is a way