Daily Chuckle

Magicman

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M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
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Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late-November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should have known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night ...........
 
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DustyRusty

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2020 BX23S, BX2822 Snowblower, Curtis Deluxe Cab,
Nov 8, 2015
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North East CT
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said,
"I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch, I guess."
 
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Magicman

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Lifetime Member

Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Oct 8, 2019
5,503
7,558
113
81
Brookhaven, MS
knotholesawmill.com
An old man walked into the doctors office. He was in there several minutes waiting while the doctor and nurse when over his chart. When the doctor turned to him and asked what he could do for him today the old man replied "Well, I'm not really sure it is a problem but I have been passing a lot of gas lately. It really is not a problem as it is completely silent and there is no odor. In fact, I've farted 4 times while I've been here in your office but nobody noticed."

The doctor replied "First we'll get some nasal spray to clear those sinuses and next we'll set you up with an appointment to get you some hearing aids."
 
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