Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

In case of emergency, always have jack operator standing by.

 

[i7win7]

Anyone know the speed rating for R1's?

 

[Toyboy]

Two women go to heaven and meet Saint Peter. He told the two women you can do anything you want here in heaven but please do not step on a duck because they make a terrible noise and racket. The two women agreed and entered heaven. One day, one of the women accidentally stepped on a duck and sure enough it made such a terrible noise and racket.

Soon after that Saint Peter came over to her with an ugly man next to him and immediately chained him to the woman and she sadly walked away with the ugly man.

The other woman was shocked and took extra precautions not to step on a duck and after much time had passed, Saint Peter came over to her with a handsome man and chained him to her.

The woman excitedly blushed and looked at the man and said, “I am not sure what I did to get chained to you, but this is great” and the handsome man looked at her and said, “I am not sure, all I did was step on a duck.”

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Magicman]

At a wedding ceremony a friend of mine was asked about what made his marriage so successful.

He began a long oratory over the does and don's, as well as how to get along in a relationship.

The newly wed asked if he had ever thought of divorce, and my friend responded. "No, never divorce, but murder a time or two!"

 

[Magicman]

The above reminded me of another:

I was at a friends place and their neighbor stopped by. He said they had a 25 year anniversary recently. Then he said "Just think if I would have killed her right away, I'd be out already".

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

There goes my commute

 

[i7win7]

And I thought fueling the tractor was hard

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[i7win7]

Don't fix it - enhance it

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Magicman]

Only us old folks may fully understand this...

Lost my Kubota key the other day, looked everywhere... Finally called dealer, $7.50 and 40 mile round trip into town and I was back in service... Next day found key in pocket of the old shirt that I left in truck... The truck I went to town in.

I am a great believer in the hereafter, I spend a lot of time standing in one spot wondering what am I hereafter.

 

[Lil Foot]

He's right.

 

[DustyRusty]

I won't sleep tonight!!!!

 

[i7win7]

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[Bmyers]